Preston's Hard Week

Poor little Preston has had a pretty hard week.  He's been a little fussy and I assumed it was the ear infection he was diagnosed with last week.  This morning I noticed his bottom two teeth (on the sides) had poked through his gums.  That explains it!  I knew one was coming soon, but had no idea on the other.  This brings the total chomper count up to 8, and I'm pretty sure a couple more are on their way.  His molars seem to be right on the surface.  Right now he wants to bite on everything, especially my finger.  I can't believe he might have 10 teeth soon.  What an early teether!  He's been so tough throughout all the growing pains babies have to endure.  It's not easy being a baby!  And to top off his difficult week, we had to take him for his monthly shot today, which is incredibly painful.  I cannot describe the range of emotion I feel on these days. To watch your baby suffer as you help hold him down while the doctor gives him an injection is truly indescribable.  It's rough on all of us!  Hopefully next week is better for my little man!  

Last Night

As I mentioned before, it's been a crazy week. I didn't get home until 1:30 a.m. this morning. I was tip-toeing up the stairs hoping not to wake anyone and creeping over to the lamp on my nightstand planning to turn on the dimmest light - just enough to see while I got ready for bed. Before I can turn on the light, I hear a sweet, familiar and awfully cheerful little voice, "Hi Mommy". I get to the lamp and turn it on. Sure enough, there's Dylan sleeping happily in Mommy's spot on the bed. Marcos is still snoring away and has no idea Dylan was ever curled up next to him. A bit of a struggle as he tried to negotiate sleeping on the floor when I told him he had to go back to bed. Eventually he settled down happily with my silly routine of tucking him in at bedtime. Once we got to that, he asked me when it was going to be 7:00 (we use 7:00 as a way of telling him that it's not time to get out of bed yet-although it's often more like 6:30), smiled and snuggled down into his pillow. Thank goodness! And no waking up for the baby. So even though I didn't get to bed until 2-ish, at least I got my full 5 hours :)

This morning Dylan was so set on the idea of pancakes. So even though I have had several late nights and will probably have another pretty long day, I got out of bed, showered, and made pancakes for my boys. I think the mix is a little on the old side because they didn't taste wonderful to Marcos or me, but the kids didn't seem to mind. Needless to say, we'll be throwing that out and starting with some new fresh stuff just in case. But either way, it was still a good family bonding moment, despite the ever-growing bags under my eyes.

My Mini-Crisis

Before I get into my story, let me just say that I haven't disappeared.  I have all these built-up posts that I want to share, but (1) I am way busy for the next week or so (which explains the 1 a.m. post) and (2) I finally bought my new computer and so pictures are on one computer, internet access on the other, etc and I haven't had time to deal with organizing the computers yet.  But I'll be back and posting like crazy in the next few days. 

Now to the story that couldn't wait.  Dylan and I were down in the basement today (the mess of a room I am attempting to organize).  He was playing a computer game while I was looking up paper storage ideas for my office.  I'm trying to make a final decision so we can get rolling with this project.  My cell phone rang so I ran to grab that and while I was gone, Dylan was pulling things out of drawers and making a mess.  I walked back towards the computer right as I said hello on the phone and stepped on a bag full of thumb tacks.  One went all the way into my foot and a couple others poked me pretty hard.  Luckily it was Marcos on the other line as I started to yell for help.  Unfortunately that made it more of a fiasco than it needed to be.  Keep in mind, timing is a big part of this story.  So I'm now having a slight freak-out session and Marcos is having a major one thinking I'm dying.  Oh, did I mention by now Dylan is crying and screaming too and apologizing because he'd left the bag on the ground.  He's asking things about whether or not we need to go to the doctor or the "hostibal".  So it's complete chaos for a minute.  I finally gain my composure enough to try to explain the situation to Marcos and instead of being relieved that I'm truly not dying, he was pretty upset with me.  Not helping.  The last thing I needed during all of this was a lecture on not freaking out when he calls so he won't think he needs to dial 9-1-1.  So I ended that call and got back to my own little world.  

Now I am doing the best I can to comfort Dylan, but my own tears are getting in the way or truly providing any motherly comfort.  I tried several times to pull it out, but it was in there good and the part of me that could feel the pain would not let me grab hold and pull hard and fast enough to get the dang thing out.  So much for the tough girl in me!  Next thing I know, Preston starts crying two floors up.  I tell Dylan to go up and talk to him until I can make my way up the stairs.  He takes his sad little self upstairs and starts explaining the whole situation to Preston.  Mommy hurt her foot and she needs to go to the doctor to get it out and it was an accident and it's going to be okay so don't worry (sob, sniff).  Poor little guy!  Let me try to explain how I looked.  I had socks on so the thumb tack went through my sock, but it was in a bag.  So I had socks on with this big tack stuck in my foot dragging a heavy sack with all the other tacks in it.  It was pretty awkward.  I tried to stand up to hop up the stairs, but even flexing my foot to stand sent shooting pains through my foot so I opted for a half crawl, not able to use one foot to even push off the stairs.  Who knew one foot could cause so many problems?  And that's the other part of the story that's just crazy.  If all of this hadn't been happening at once, I maybe would have coped with it a little bit better, but all of my tough mom genes went out the window and I was a mess.  I tried to call a million people to get someone on the phone that could tell me what to do and no one answered, which just made me mad and upset and a bit frantic.  

I finally made it to Preston's room and figured out how to stand up , balance on one foot, get him out of the crib, sit back down without dropping him (while balancing) and scoot myself over to the stairs.  Then I held my foot out with the bag of tacks dangling while I slid down one stair at a time.  Got the mental image yet?  The poor kid was just staring at me, wondering why his mom was crazy.  By then, Dylan was gone.  I immediately start to panic thinking my child has freaked out and left my home.  I started thinking about how I was going to deal with a baby and a lost 4-year-old with a stupid tack in my foot.  How could I run after Dylan if he was gone? Luckily he'd gone out in the backyard and I was able to hop over to the window and yell out to him.  

I tried several times to get the tack out and finally got my sister, Alicia, on the phone.  She was ready to drive down to help me get it out, but she lives like 20 minutes away.  I realized what a waste of time that would be for her so I finally decided to just call my neighbor.  Honestly, I cannot explain how embarrassed I am to have had to resort to calling my neighbor to come rescue me because I was too big of a wimp to pull the tack out of my foot, but I just couldn't do it.  She came over with first aid kit in hand and was so cute about the whole thing.  It really was in there pretty deep, but she got it out.  I soaked my foot and put some neosporin and a bandaid on it.  I think I might need to get a tetanus shot too.  I'd better figure that out pretty quickly.  I don't know when I last had one of those.  Anyway, so that's my little "emergency."  It's so embarrassing to even think about, but it is what it is.  One more memory in this little world of mine.

St. Patrick's Day

All I was trying to do was get a picture of the boys in their matching shirts for St. Patrick's Day. Easier said than done. Preston was trying to crawl away, Dylan was then tackling and holding Preston down. Next thing you know, Dylan thinks it's a game and is playing keep away from the click so every time I hold up the camera, he leaps through the air. Well, I didn't get much of a picture of the boys in their cute shirts, but I did manage to capture some of their cute brotherly relationship that I thought I'd share.

Licorice

Somehow our kids always end up with a memorable licorice event. Dylan's happened around 8 months at Grandma's house. Preston made it a little later. This was here at our house just before his first birthday. He LOVED every minute of it!

The New Trampoline

Marcos and I bought a trampoline for the boys' birthday. Here are a couple bad pictures of our new backyard toy.

Dylan & Preston's Animal Birthday Party

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Motherhood Email

I received this email and it was just really beautiful to me. I don't know where it came from so I can't give proper credit, but I wanted to post it here for those who might want to read it.


We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family.""We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral."I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation. I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts. My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart.Let God be God. He knows what he is doing. When you can't trace his hand, trust his heart.

My Mom's Broken Nose

My mom is one tough cookie. She was playing basketball with her Jr High students and wound up with a broken nose. She had a trip planned that weekend so she ended up going out of town with a broken nose and coming home to have surgery the next week. Barney's had a great time with the whole process. He called everyone to tell them she had broken her nose, which of course she wanted to keep low-key, and then he's poked fun at her in every way possible. He even had her pose for her pictures as a convicted felon. What a nut! So here are a few pictures of my poor little Mommy and her infamous broken nose.

Dress-Up Time

The other day, Dylan asked me to get out his cute chef outfit that abuela bought for the grandkids for Christmas. I pulled out the whole basket of dress-ups so he could dress himself. He was so cute. We made brownies and he was all in character...until he realized how sticky he was. Then we had to spend some time washing up. Unfortunately, he gets his nickname "cabezon" for a reason. The chef hat should fit him, but it doesn't. His hat will probably fit Preston (who has a decent-sized head himself) and Dylan practically needs an adult size. Oh well, we made it work! Then, he switched over to 'Bob-the-builder' mode. I love it when his imagination is working like this. I don't have to do much entertaining because he's so into his own play. It's great!

Preston's New Skill

It finally happened. Preston's been tugging at furniture for awhile now, but usually couldn't lift his hefty little self up, but last week, he finally did it. Now it seems to take no effort to hoist himself up and play around. He's still pretty unsure of himself balance-wise so he isn't scooting around yet, but he loves standing up. He just smiles at us, so proud of his new talent. Today he discovered he could pull himself up on the toybox and play right there. He tries to lift things out, but most of the toys are a bit heavy for him. He's such a cute little thing!

It's Gonna Be A Bright Bright Bright Sun-Shiny Day

I stayed home from church with the boys yesterday because all of our colds seem to have turned into annoying coughs. Yet despite our constant winter illnesses, I am just happy to be alive today. The sun is finally shining and not in a deceptive, it's still freezing cold outside way. We broke out the bikes and stroller and wandered around the cult-a-sac a few times, stopping to talk to and pet every doggie and kitty we found. I turned the heater down and cracked open all the windows. I figure it's time to air out the house. It feels great to have fresh air circulating around.

To top off this beautiful day, I'm well on my way to an organized house. I've more or less caught up with most of the main floor and upstairs projects (drawers, closets, toy room) and now just have the dreaded office to face. We took a big load to the DI, our garbage can is full, and we have a big pile of recycling ready to take to the bin (in Weber County, mind you. What is wrong with Davis County? Not one recycling bin. I just don't get it.) I started sorting out a couple of files in the office and was able to get rid of more than I thought I would, but it's still a daunting task that I need hours to tackle. So I have the office and then a little more deep cleaning items like blinds, windows and baseboards...And eventually I'll make my way to the garage and shed too. It feels good to be a little more caught up though.

Unfortunately, the routine is not even close to being set. Daylight savings time has thrown everything off for awhile. My kids don't want to go to bed on time, they sleep in (which would normally be a welcome change) but then Preston's not ready for his morning nap. Maybe he's outgrowing two naps. I can't remember when that happens, but for sure things are off. I finally gave up today and let Preston be a little grumpy until after lunch so I could for sure count on one good nap. Hopefully that will help balance things back out a little bit. So Preston and Anthony are both asleep at the same time and Dylan is watching a movie (for the first time today...I'm working on keeping the TV off except during specific times) and I have a little break to chill, let the Motrin try to take care of this headache and reflect on the day.

Dejunk, Organize, Deep Clean, Routine

The title of this blog is a list of my new goals (along with a slew of other post-New Year goals I'm dragging behind me). Let me try to explain. For lack of a better term, I am a restless soul. Some people are easily content, me, I struggle a bit more. I find a constant need for new projects. Never mind whether or not my schedule's plenty full already. I guess that's just how I am and always have been. I'm also a perfectionist by nature so my need to accomplish things often conflicts with my desire to have things "just right". I'm much more chill and mellow than I used to be, but I am a little nutty.

My restlessness came back again a few weeks ago. Sometimes I can't quite put my finger on it and am ready to make drastic changes. This time I was convinced it had to do with my family room. I'm in desperate need of a room makeover, but seeing as how that is not in the budget this year, I decided I would try to rearrange the furniture (yet again) and see if that helped. Let me mention briefly that this drives Marcos crazy! He's learned to more or less accept this endearing part of me, but it still bothers him (usually because it means I need his help to move the heavy furniture). After the rearrangement of the room, I felt better for a brief moment and then my restlessness was back again.

I blame a big part of my current restlessness on the dreaded office in the basement that I've been putting off forever. I get around to portions of it, but it's a project that is always missing something so I end up just shutting the basement door - out of sight, out of mind. Here's the problem...we're buying a new computer and going to have my brother-in-law help us build a desk and some shelves in the basement bedroom. But, I've decided to start a small business so all of that has been put on hold. For those of you who now think I'm crazy, let me explain. I do little projects and contract work here and there and figured the best thing to do was to just have my own business so it was easier to track everything. So now the computer and desk will be part of the business. I've put off moving the computer downstairs until we get the new computer and I've put off buying the new computer until the desk is built and until I get the business license stuff all figured out, and I've put off measuring the desk and shelf stuff until I can get down there and decide how much space I really need and get rid of some things I don't... Well, you get the picture.

Now back to today. So mid-afternoon I was looking for a pen in the kitchen. As I was looking around trying to find one, I couldn't even open the so-called "junk" drawer. Next thing you know, I am removing everything item by item. I am honestly amazed by how many things actually fit in one tiny drawer. That now empty drawer lead to my emptying the next drawer, reorganizing medicine, throwing out old medicine, organizing one shelf of the pantry, cleaning off the crap on the top of the fridge, deciding not to keep 10 phone books so I could free up some shelf space, wiping down shelves in the fridge and rearranging condiments.... I'm not sure where I left off, but it was a really good start to something that will probably take me quite awhile.

For those of you who may not know me very well, I actually do keep my house fairly tidy and organized. Unfortunately my organizational upkeep was lacking a bit. I now have a need to reorganize many things that have been put off again and again. My hope is that I can work on one area a week until I'm caught up. I'm going to try to get rid of stuff we do not need, organize the things I do want to keep, and make sure everything has a place. Of course all that organizing inevitably leads to deep cleaning the rooms I am working on so my other goal is to deep clean the areas that have been put off way too long. And last but not least, I need to get into a better routine. The kids have a good routine for eating and sleeping, but I need to be a little bit better about planned music time, story time, play time, cleaning time, etc. Hmm...what an ambitious little moment. Hopefully I can catch up on things before I realize what a big undertaking this truly is.

A Crazy Conversation With Dylan

We're in the process of switching Preston over to whole milk. We're to the half formula, half whole milk stage (usually). Dylan is a little obsessed with what type of milk Preston gets to drink and doesn't understand why he all of a sudden can drink "cow's milk" instead of "baby milk". He was asking me if Preston could drink cow's milk and I told him yes, but he still drinks baby milk. I think he still remembers when the answer to that question was "No, Preston drinks baby milk." Here's a bit of the conversation.

Dylan: What kind of milk do we drink?
Me: Cow milk
Dylan: What kind of milk do babies drink?
Me: Mommy's milk or formula. It's special milk for babies, but Preston is getting a little bit bigger and he'll be able to drink cow milk soon too.
Dylan: Hey Mom, I know where we get babies' milk
Me: Where?
Dylan: Baby cows. And horses give us vegetables and pigs give us fruit.
Me: I think fruit comes from trees and vegetables come from the garden.
Dylan: And chickens give us (pause to think for a second)...chicken, so we can have ham sandwiches. Wait, I know what chickens give us - cheese.

At this point, he's obviously just being silly and wants me to laugh. I stop responding with an answer since it's clearly not a teaching moment - he's just messing with me. I couldn't help but chuckle a little. Who knows where that kid came from? He's a nut!

Trek

So Marcos and I were recently asked to be a Ma and Pa for the trek our stake is taking this summer. It really caught us off guard at first. Our kids our young...Preston's not even a year old yet and has never been away from us over night. But we talked it over and decided we are going to do it. Luckily, my mom is off work for the summer and didn't have anything planned that week so she'll be able to keep the kids while we head off to hike. We have very little information at this point, but I'm sure we'll hear more as we start attending meetings and helping prepare. I must admit I'm a little nervous and yet excited at the opportunity.

I know we have a lot to do to prepare ourselves. It certainly increases the need to get myself to the gym a little more regularly. The last thing I want to do is to drag the group down and not be able to pull my weight. I've also got to get my attitude to a peak so I can motivate our "family". I'm sure there will be many moments where kids (and adults) will be complaining and I'd like to be one of the ones lifting others instead of adding to the negativity. I've got to get my thoughts in check so I can manage to be optimistic and motivating when I'm in a long skirt and long-sleeved shirt in the middle of July hiking and pushing a handcart with no shower or sewer system in sight. Seriously though, we're excited. It will be great - hard but awesome.

Marcos and I went this week and bought hiking shoes (a little more of an investment than I had hoped, but my feet will thank me later) and we're working on breaking them in. Now we've got to get our slightly older, slightly out of shape selves a little more physically fit and geared up spiritually to lead the youth of our stake.

Anyway, that's all. I just thought I would share our exciting and slightly scary news.

Ellen & Wayne Dyer

Sick little Preston's need to be held and comforted the last several days has allowed me to catch up a little on the recorded shows that I never get around to watching. For the most part, the only shows I've seen are Diego or Backyardigans. What a life I lead! Anyway, I happened to turn on Ellen's Friday (I think it was Friday) show and I just had to comment. I don't know how many of you saw it, but for those who didn't, it was really good. Well, Janet Jackson was boring, but the rest of the show was pretty inspirational to me. First, she had the guy on that won $1 million on The Price is Right. I think his name is Adam. He is such an optimistic toddler teacher and plans to still teach at his preschool or daycare or whatever, even though he just won $1 million. He said he's going to quit his part-time job as a waiter, but that he loves working with kids. He just had such a good attitude and you can tell he really likes kids, so that was fun for me to watch. That's rare, especially for a man. Later, she had Dr. Wayne Dyer on. He is a self-help author and motivational speaker. The book he was promoting was called "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life." Okay, so sometimes I tend to be a bit too into self-help books like this so maybe I'm not the most neutral person to share, but honestly, it was so awesome to listen to him. He's got a great attitude and real life insight.

Here are a couple things he said that I loved. He talks about the ego. He says that the ego is the false self. He talks about how when we're in the womb, we trust God and then as soon as we're born, we start "edging God out" or E.G.O. We teach our kids that their value is based on what they have and later on what they do and what people think of them. Then when something goes wrong or someone doesn't like them, they think they have no value. He also talks about how the ego teaches that we are separate from God, but really we must be part of God because we came from God. He said in order to learn how to let go of ego we must think and be like God, always giving, always serving, always caring. He used a metaphor of the sun when speaking about God. He said, even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, you owe me. Just think what a love like that can do. We need to let go of our own desires and become humble and be giving and serving and loving. He talks about the mantra of the ego being I must have more. The ego is never content. We need to be in a state of awe and bewilderment and total gratitude all the time. He said, when you have a choice to be right or to be kind, choose kind. He also talked about how none of us here are human beings having an occasional spiritual experience, but that we're actually spirits here having a human experience. Our essence is in this world of spirit. The spirit gives light. Keep in mind, I'm quoting and yet not quoting him. Everything he said was so beautiful. It was basic and yet it was just great to listen to him.

So my hope is that I'll be able to remember these truths and live by them a little more often. And I might buy the book and see what else this man has to say. I have a few books ahead of it, but if I get around to it, I'll let you know what I think.

Happy 4th Birthday, Dylan!

Well, my "baby" turns 4 today. In some ways, I truly can't believe it. I remember being pregnant with him and waiting for my little delivery. In other ways, I can barely remember life without my little Dylan. But he's 4 today and he's so excited. Mommy's pretty excited too. The last two nights, he wore underwear to bed and was able to make it through the night completely dry. I didn't really think he was ready yet and didn't want to be washing sheets every day so we haven't even attempted sleeping in underwear at night. But a couple nights ago he begged and begged me to not to put a diaper on. I decided we'd try it a couple times and see what happened. Clearly he knew he was ready-I just wasn't paying attention. Hopefully, his 4 year birthday marks the monumental occasion of no more need for diapers at night.

Unfortunately, Preston's still not feeling very well. He's had a bug since Wednesday and been throwing up and had diarrhea (I know, more details than you wanted, but that way you know where we're coming from). So no church for Preston or Maria today. I have yet to shower today, but Preston's had 3 baths already (it's a messy little stomach bug). Too bad his baths don't make up for my lack of one today! Needless to say, it hasn't been the most glamorous birthday for Dylan. Luckily, Marcos took him to church and everyone was cute with him and wished him a happy birthday.

We're having a combined birthday for the boys this year so today there's not much going on. I just bought a little cake and some frosting and drew an elephant and wrote his name on the cake. The most simple thing ever, but he LOVED it. He blew out the candles and we had a piece of cake. He did get a little scared and then mad at the "trick" candles we bought, which is why he moved off his chair to blow out the candles the second time. Since then we've just been playing together and taking it easy.

So here are a couple of pictures from Dylan's birthday, but not from the "party." Those will come later. Marcos took a couple of pictures of us playing after we had some cake. Now before you judge, keep in mind I haven't showered and I've been taking care of and cleaning a sick baby all week. As Oprah would say, I'm definitely sporting my "Shlumpadinka" look, but you can see how much fun we were having doing nothing on this special day.