Friendship

I’m not superstitious.  At all.  I don’t worry about black cats, walking under ladders or opening umbrellas in the house.  I don’t take everything and anything as a sign from the universe of my fate or destiny.  I’m open-minded, but I’m a skeptic at heart.  I rarely participate in random fact-predicting activities. It doesn’t bother me that such quizzes exist.  I remember fondly playing games as a child, folded paper opening and closing on the tips of my fingers that would accurately predict my entire future (husband, number of kids, career and wealth).  But as a grown up, it’s rare for me to participate in such things.

So imagine my surprise when I found myself clicking on a Facebook link a year ago that would choose my word for the coming year.  I had experienced a couple of rough months leading up to the commencement of 2016 and I looked forward to the New Year with great anticipation.  I kept my New Year’s resolution simple: joy and purpose.  I already lead a somewhat purposeful life, but I wanted to focus on activities that brought joy to me and to others.  That was it.  I thought for sure when I took the quiz, the word joy or happiness or maybe even adventure would pop up.  That would be the theme of my year.  I clicked with nervous excitement, anxiously awaiting my word.  It was going to be something super cool.  Maybe a word I’d have to look up in the dictionary.  Oh, how I love words and definitions!  For a knowledge-craving human, the idea of a word unique to me that could help shape my future was second only to Christmas!  And then, like an addicted gambler watching the slot machine in Vegas, I looked up in surprise.  FRIENDSHIP.  My word was friendship?

Hmm...strange.  I wasn’t disappointed.  But I was surprised.  Friendship has ALWAYS been a big part of my life.  It's not new or unique or a word that should define a year.  Friendship is simply part of who I am.  Stupid test!  I lost three minutes of my life taking that stupid test.   

Now, before you decide I'm a complete jerk for hating my fortune-predicting word, let me make myself clear.  I consider myself beyond lucky when it comes to friends.  In the friendship department, I hit the freaking jackpot!  Seriously!  I'm not even sort of kidding.  Somehow, I have always found myself surrounded by individuals who uplift, inspire and support me.  I’m certain much of it is a blessing from the Lord - a tender mercy - that has carried me through my life.  I love my friends.  I cherish those friendships.  I laugh when I think of the diversity of the people near and dear to me.  My friends are eclectic.  They range greatly in age, background and interests, but every single one of them holds valuable real estate in the deepest parts of my heart.  Friendship is a big deal to me.  But really?  My word for the year?  Come on computer!  Work a little harder. 

Last January, I never could have predicted that my couple of rough months in November and December 2015 would be a walk in the park compared to the torrential downpour of 2016.  My “determined optimism” and “sometimes life can be hard but I can do hard things” moments eventually collapsed and sent me into a downward spiral.  I have emerged several times from that whirlpool, gasping for air but alive.  However, keeping my head above water in the midst of incredible storms has proven more than I could do alone.  It was in those moments that the word FRIENDSHIP – my own personal word of the year – took on new meaning for me. 

I faked it.  I hid out.  I hit rock bottom…multiple times.  Not good!  I wrestled with life and faith and reality.  It was rough.  And when I thought I could survive no longer, a friend would reach out in my time of need.  There are good people everywhere and I can’t possibly name everyone who came to my aid in one way or another this past year.  What I can say is that everyone needs at least one friend like that.  The kind of friend you can call in the middle of the night when you’re stranded and alone who will drop everything and run.  The kind of friend you can text and ask for prayers or words of encouragement when your low reaches lower than you ever imagined possible – an embarrassing and shocking low that finds you wishing out loud that a bus will run you over.  Literally.  Everyone needs a friend with whom you find comfort sitting in silence or talking into the wee hours of the night. A friend with whom you can shed your defensive armor, exposing your deepest fears, weaknesses and insecurities, and still feel safe and loved.  The kind of friend who witnesses your ugly cry reach a new level of intensity yet still manages to see the beauty of your soul. 

I have had friends bring me meals, drive me to appointments when I couldn’t drive with my broken foot, take my children for play dates and outings of all kinds, lend me a car when I could drive again but the car, the van or both had broken down, run errands for me, lend me ingredients or materials I needed at a moment’s notice, bring me chocolate, a Fiiz, a book or a movie to brighten my day, convince me to go shopping in pajama pants and a sweatshirt because I needed to get out of the house and do something, pray for me, fast with me, drag me to the temple…     
There is no possible way to fully document the love and support I have received during my year of FRIENDSHIP!  The only thing I can attempt to do is say thank you.  At the risk of sounding sappy and possibly busting into lyrics from The Golden Girls theme song, I humbly and sincerely say, “Thank you for being a friend!”

The words of scripture flood my mind as I ponder.  “…Peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment.  And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.  Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands” (D&C 121:7-9). 

Yes!  That’s exactly what I have experienced.  Friendship.  My friends stood by me with warm hearts and friendly hands.  What an incredible blessing!

The word friendship swirls around and around in my mind as words from the scriptures once again emerge from my memory.  “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).  The reality of the love from the Ultimate Friend to us all hits me in an instant.  Despite the storm – the tempest tossed – I found peace.  I caught glimpses of hope in the midst of despair.  That hope came in the form of a newborn babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.  Without Him, I would be lost.  We would all be lost.  This year, I found healing for deep wounds I thought would not be possible in this lifetime.  Healing made possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Healing made possible because Jesus Christ was WILLING and ABLE to lay down his life for his friends.  I am filled with emotion as I ponder my PERFECT FRIEND.  My brain questions the unfairness of a friendship so lop-sided in nature.  My brow furrows.  And then I cringe. My heart aches as I imagine the pain He suffered because of my sins.  A lump forms in my throat as I realize the pain and afflictions Christ willingly carried so He would know PERFECTLY how to succor me.  Pain He took upon himself so he could run to me and comfort me in my time of need.  My chest feels heavy and my breathing slows.  I gasp as the magnitude of it all strikes me like a bolt of lightning.  What felt like a trivial word becomes deeper understanding and appreciation for the many layers of love and friendship offered to me daily.  Emotion washes over me once again and I pause momentarily as I seek to define it.  Gratitude.  It’s the only word that comes.  I am overwhelmed with a feeling of GRATITUDE.  Gratitude for friendship, a word I now recognize perfectly describes the year 2016 for me.