Saturday, January 21, 2023

An Unlikely Friendship

Dylan is a different kind of fisherman. He doesn’t sit in one spot all day waiting and watching. He’s restless. And curious. A kid on a mission. A scientist. And an artist. He watches, observes…and then acts. I took a book to the pond to watch him fish years ago and quickly realized it was not a quiet, leisurely, reading-a-book-under-the-shade-of-a-tree type of experience. The kid does not hold still for more than a few minutes at a time. I don’t know why that came as such a surprise to me. That’s how he’s been since the day he was born.  

Dylan’s love of the great outdoors has taught him a bit more patience than comes natural to him, but he continues to insist on living every aspect of life his own way…including fishing. He is an opportunist by nature and used every chance he got to talk to experts. He talked to locals. He took a survey. He asked questions at the bait shops. His favorite pastime was talking to old men who had learned the art of fishing and were eager and willing to talk to youngsters who appreciated their knowledge, experience and passion. It’s one thing I have always loved and admired about my oldest son. He takes the bull by the horn and gets things done when he has a mission he wants to accomplish.  


In April 2018, I dropped Dylan off at the Kaysville Pond to do some fishing. He had finished his math, language arts, piano and reading and was in need of some outdoor time. He had been visiting local ponds and honing his fishing skills for about two years, and was comfortable being dropped off for an hour or two by himself. Truth be told, we needed a break from one another, and this was a healthy way to make that happen for both of us.


It was on that day in April that Dylan met Lee Sanchez. Lee was at the Kaysville Pond fishing when Dylan walked up to talk to him. By the time I arrived to pick up Dylan, he knew all about Lee’s military service, his family and his hobbies. Lee was a Vietnam vet with a purple heart and stories that could keep you on the edge of your seat for hours. Dylan was not only passionate about fishing, but was a patriotic kid with a deep knowledge of American history and a tender heart for those who have gone before and preserved the freedom of the nation he loves.  And just like that, this unlikely pair became fast friends who spent a good part of Dylan’s teen years together.  



Lee’s friendship came at a time when getting through to the heart of a teenage boy was not the easiest endeavor. Lee quickly became a mentor to Dylan, and was a safe place for our boy to go when we all needed some time and space apart.  


Lee and Dylan are both strong-willed manly men with great, big personalities and equally big opinions.  They meshed well most of the time. Other times they clashed. But they worked through their differences quickly and moved on after a disagreement. Their strengths and weaknesses balanced each other well. 


Lee spent hours and hours helping Dylan learn to be a proficient driver. In return, Lee got his own personal chauffeur on the longer drives to fishing spots that were further away like Strawberry Reservoir and Matua. The two of them were quite a pair, bonding over fishing, the military, American history, football (and other sports), and politics.  


Lee’s wife and daughter were equally grateful for Dylan. Dorothy was nervous the first day when Lee came home and told him he had plans to go fishing with a 14 year old boy he met at the pond. She subtly reminded Lee that some people may frown on that type of relationship, and that he needed to at least go meet this boy’s parents and make sure they were okay with it. Marcos and I knew right away that this was not only a safe situation, but a tender mercy. This relationship came at just the right time for a boy who needed someone older and wiser with plenty of life experience under his belt. Dylan needed Lee. And Lee needed Dylan.  


Dylan is strong and sturdy and knows his way around multiple counties in northern Utah. Don’t ask me how. He’s like a living, breathing map. It’s just the way his brain works. He’s also quick on his feet and good in an emergency. All of these things made it easier for Dorothy and Lisa (Lee’s daughter) to trust Dylan to take Lee out and make sure he made it back from their adventures in one piece. And that’s just what Dylan did. There are multiple times Dylan came home to tell me he pushed or pulled Lee up a hill, caught him when he started to tip over, or stepped in when needed for driving or parking.  


A favorite pastime of both Dylan and Lee was ice fishing. Unfortunately, that came with extra concerns for Lee, who was injured in the war and had a bad knee and other health concerns. That didn’t stop our crazy crew! Marcos and Dylan quickly formulated a plan to take Lee with them to the middle of the lake. They loaded up the sled, hauled the gear out onto the lake and got everything set up. Then they went back to the truck to get Lee. Lee rode across the lake in the sled with Marcos and Dylan serving as sled dogs pulling him all the way there and back. It still warms my heart when I see pictures and hear stories of the memories they made. I wish all teens had the chance to experience the beauty of a relationship like theirs.  






Our whole family has benefitted from the unlikely friendship of these two misfits. We have given rides and checked in on family members after surgery, had multiple delicious meals made by Dorothy and been forced to sit down and join them for meals and family gatherings. My children and I have learned all about airplanes as Lee walked us through his giant model airplane collection and told us about them one by one. It quickly became second nature for Lee and I to stand side by side to pin rank advancements on Dylan’s lapel during his years at the Utah Military Academy.  

This past Monday Marcos was off work for Martin Luther King Jr Day. He came and told me that Lee was in the hospital and was not doing well. Our first thought was that we needed to call Dylan immediately, and that both Marcos and Dylan needed to go to the hospital as soon as possible. Lee’s condition worsened throughout the day and Marcos’s experience as a hospice social worker proved invaluable throughout the day. Dylan stood by Lee’s side. He sobbed while he talked to his buddy during his last day on earth. He held his hand. And he waited.  



Lee and his family belong to the Catholic Church. They wanted Lee to have a blessing and anointing of the sick by a Catholic Priest before he passed. It was a holiday so only one social worker was working the entire hospital. Marcos is great at working his magic in situations like this! He was able to find a contact who eventually put him in touch with someone who could make that last wish possible for Lee and his family. It took several hours and multiple phone calls from Salt Lake to Brigham City, but he made it happen. It was such a blessing that Marcos could be there to help them find peace during such a tender time in their lives. 


Our whole family was able to visit Lee one last time and say our goodbyes. Caleb sobbed. His great big heart is much too big for his little body! Preston stood strong and immovable, putting his arm around family members and quietly comforting those in need. Marissa tucked her head under Dylan’s arm and cried with him. And then we left. Marcos stayed until eleven o’clock and then headed home, knowing he needed some sleep before work in the morning. We got a call the next morning telling us that Lee had passed away at 6:22am Tuesday, January 17, 2023. We all cried. I tried to put my thoughts together, but they would not come. I sat and stared at the wall. The kids did some schoolwork. I listened and helped them and allowed myself to cry. It’s hard put into words the impact that one individual has on the life of another. We have known Lee for just over four and a half years, and yet somehow it seems like he’s always been a part of our lives.  


Till we meet again, Lee Sanchez! Thank you for your service to our country and your friendship with our boy. We love you!