The Black Boot Analogy

I can’t drive.  I have to rest after being on my foot for a short period of time.  I can barely take care of my kids.   Showering is surprisingly difficult, requiring an absurd amount of planning and preparation.  I had no idea how many every day tasks would become a chore when I broke my right foot.  It feels like an eternity ago, and yet seems like it happened yesterday.  In reality, I’ve been wearing this clunky big black boot (the dreaded triple B) for over a month now.  It’s awkward and inconvenient.  I hate it.  And yet I love it.  I need it.  It protects me from further injury.  And over the past several weeks, it’s become a part of me. 

Unfortunately, the clunky black boot was a minor part of the trials that piled up one after another last month.  A nasty virus took out the whole family one by one, cellulitis in Dylan’s eye and high fevers that wouldn’t break threatened to send us to the emergency room three nights in a row, cellulitis in Caleb’s fingers broke out a day later, our “good” car broke down and needs a new transmission in the midst of financial trials, my grandpa got hit by a car riding his bike home from the coffee shop and spent the night in the hospital…  Every day was something new.  I was living my nightmare.  And in the midst of so many mortal trials, the foundation of my universe collapsed.  
As difficult as everything on the surface has been, it amounts for a tiny fraction of the internal torment I am experiencing. 

My optimistic, “I can do this” attitude was shattered in an instant.  My prayers of gratitude and thanksgiving became desperate pleas for deliverance.  My prayers of help me do thy will became “please help me get through this day…or even just the next hour.”  I took each new trial in stride.  I smiled and knew I would get through it.  And then one day I collapsed under the weight of so many trials compounded.  It was simply too much to bear.

MY EMOTIONS CANNOT BE TRUSTED!  I go from feeling numb to despair, from anger to fear.  In moments when I manage to surpass the intense depression I am experiencing, I attempt to reflect.  I have faith.  I trust God.  I know good can come from extreme sorrow and trials.  But it is difficult.  A depression that comes on with such intensity creates a thick fog that clouds reality.  It’s difficult to see the light, to see anything but  darkness.  But I have moments – brief moments – of clarity.  Moments where I am still Maria and feel a divine purpose and connection with a loving Heavenly Father.  I cling to those moments like a starving POW in a concentration camp clings to the last grain of rice in the tiny bit of sustenance he is fed once a day.  Those moments of hope are everything, the only relief I get from hours and hours of torture, torment and despair.  It was during a moment of clarity and reflection that the broken foot analogy came to light.  My initial plan was to write my thoughts in my personal journal.  I am hesitant to publicly share my thoughts, and yet a part of me feels like I need to.  Perhaps it will be therapeutic.  Perhaps someone needs to hear the words I write.  I’m not sure why, but I’ve decided to share my personal thoughts here today. 

The pain I experienced when I broke my foot was intense.  I knew I had likely broken my big toe.  Others who saw pictures thought the same.  But I didn’t realize my foot was broken in 5 places, including two joints.  I had no idea that a similar break can cause long-term problems if not handled correctly.  I couldn’t foresee the panic that would appear in the eyes of the Instacare doctor when she realized that what she thought was merely a sprain was actually a complicated break.  I was shocked at the urgency I sensed when doctors and nurses immediately placed my foot in a big black boot to protect it from further damage.  It happened so fast.  It was like a dream, like watching a movie stuck in fast forward mode.  I couldn’t stop it.  I couldn’t slow it down.  Every moment felt like something new unraveled, but I didn’t have time to ponder or process.  I had to experience it all as it happened and sort it out later. 

I had no idea that after hearing about my break, the orthopedic surgeon had scheduled the Operating Room at the hospital before I even arrived for my appointment the next morning.  It was all so sudden. I knew surgery was likely that morning, but the reality of needing surgery hadn’t fully hit me until I was given the possibility of healing without surgery.  For the first time in twelve hours, I exhaled.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  And then I sobbed.  As bad as the break was, the bones were somehow not displaced.  My foot could potentially heal without invasive surgery, pins, screws and the potential of arthritis and other complications later in life.  None of that was apparent by simply looking at my swollen, bruised foot the day it broke.  It took x-rays – a detailed look on the inside – to make sense of it.  And even with x-rays, I needed an expert to point out the tender mercy that occurred in the midst of such chaos and ruin. 

My heart and soul suffered fractures and breaks that seem to mirror my foot.  Some things you can’t share.  Some things you don’t want to.  Friends and family know we are struggling.  We have had meals and rides and help with kids.  But the extent of this set of trials compiled cannot be seen with human eyes.  It is clear there is damage, but only a look on the inside would reveal the true extent of the hurt and pain and daily struggle that is my current reality.  It is much more severe than the battered exterior may indicate.  And because the breaks are complicated, I have the equivalent of a big black boot protecting my heart from further damage.  One more bump or bruise could be catastrophic.

People ask me how I’m doing.  What can they do to help?  Sigh.  I wish I knew.  I don’t have an answer.  That shadow of a woman you glance from a distance wearing the same pair of old pajama pants for the third day in a row chasing half-dressed kids down the cul-de-sac like a pirate on a peg leg isn’t simply swollen and bruised.  She has complicated breaks that require expert eyes to assess and repair.  Injuries that only the Master Physician can heal.  Like my foot, there is no quick fix.  My current set of trials requires patience, humility and an enormous amount of faith.  In the meantime, I’m doing the best I can to take one awkward clunky big black boot step forward at a time. 

From Caveman to K-Bub

I have missed a lot of time blogging and there is no such thing as catching up on lost time, but I'm going to do my best to blog what matters most to me.

Caleb is 2.  He turned 2 in August, two months ago.  He had very few words when he turned 2 and the doctor was talking about getting him into early intervention.  Since we've been that direction before with Preston, I politely declined and told him we'd try some things on our end first.  I started him on the listening program and hopefully we can start working on primitive reflex exercises with him sooner than later.  

Caleb has been a super busy baby and toddler.  The past year has had me on my toes chasing, cleaning and attempting to stay one step ahead of Caleb and anticipate his next disaster.  I have to admit that fact has made it much more difficult for me to enjoy the sweet person that is my baby boy.  

I've been in a pretty deep depression as well as experienced major bouts of extreme anxiety the past couple months.  It's been rough!  Several things have happened to flip things around, but that's another blog post.  Needless to say, I have reevaluated some things and am trying to do what matters most to me and let other things fall away.  As part of that, I am trying to enjoy each child and their unique personalities more.  I wanted to start by talking a little bit about Caleb.  

Caleb is kind of like a tank rolling through a town.  He's big and tough and you can usually see him coming.  He knocks things down and leaves a mark wherever he's been.  But he's sweet.  When I put him on time out, he puts his hand over his mouth and tears well up in his eyes.  He's started biting, hitting and pinching when he is frustrated, but he immediately apologizes after he realizes he's made a mistake.  He's aggressive, but loving and sweet.  Kind of a mixture of the older two boys in one little toddler body.  

Caleb LOVES routine and is a creature of habit.  After I change his diaper in the morning, he takes it into the bathroom garbage and throws it away, takes the garbage sack out of the can and takes it downstairs to take out to the green garbage with Preston (whose job it is to take garbages out).  He cries if we don't let him help and is so proud of every new step of independence he gains.  He also loves immitating me in the kitchen.  If something spills, he is the first one to go get out a towel or rag and do his best to soak up the mess.  Sometimes I have no idea anything has even spilled unless I hear his darling little voice shout, "ah-hoh" (uh-oh).  So cute!  He is obsessed with garbage trucks so we try to rush outside to watch as the cans get dumped every week when we hear the garbage truck pull into the cul-de-sac.  He calls ALL trucks "gah-badge chucks" but loves them all.  Since his vocabulary is still quite limited, he uses hand signals to help him tell a story.  I love stories involving garbage trucks, as his little arm shoots straight up in the air to indicate the garbage trucks dumping the cans.  Melts my heart!  

His relationships with siblings rotates, but in general he and Dylan get along really well.  He loves when Dylan tends and is attentive to him.  They read, sing and play games together for hours.  I hope somehow that they both are able to remember the sweet time they spent together as oldest and youngest siblings.  

Caleb is also obsessed with his push toy lawn mower.  He asks for it multiple times a day.  I'm such a softy, I've given up on house rules and it has become and indoor/outdoor toy for him.  When Marcos mows the lawn, he cries and cries until he is allowed to go out and help and observe.  He will pace back and forth pushing his own lawn mower while he watches Marcos cut the real lawn.  

Now that I know some of these obsession and tendency to perseverate and want routine so much is likely a right brain delay, I know what we're dealing with.  I am trying to take that information in stride, knowing their is a purpose in all things.  We've been through so much to learn about Preston's delays and learning challenges.  Every time we learned something new (and still today to some degree) I would get a pit in my stomach and panic for a minute.  It's hard facing a new reality, especially when big terms and scary words are shoved down your throat.  But I feel like I have a better understanding of why this happens, and, most importantly, how to help him grow and develop as he gets older.  Caleb's challenges are nowhere near what Preston's were.  He understands and is clearly very bright, but his speech delay frustrates him at times and I can see the breakdown in what he is trying to communicate and what he is able to.  But thanks to all the work and knowledge we have received over the years, I am much more calm dealing with a less than perfect learning situation (which doesn't really exist anyway).  

Caleb is a climber.  He always has been and probably always will be.  I have pictures of him at the top of a ladder next to the attic door when he was 18 months old.  He has no fear when it comes to heights and climbing.  But, he did get nervous this summer in the water when he couldn't touch the bottom.  He got past it for the most part, but he was the first child we have had that didn't feel completely comfortable in the water.  

Even though he has a very independent nature, he is also quite obedient.  He will start to run away or fight something he doesn't want to do, but as soon as he realizes you're not trying to take away his freedom, that you know what he wants and are trying to help him attain it, he will hold your hand and follow you anywhere.  I have to remember that as he gets older.  No trying to control.  Listen, teach, try to understand, and guide him where he needs to go.  Those are going to be important things for this child.  

I LOVE my little blondie!  I know his bleached blonde look will not last long.  It will darken this winter and maybe never have the natural highlights that this summer brought, but I think it's been fun to have such a blonde one following me around.  I love my little mixed latino babies, but I never realized how strange it would be as a blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman to have all dark-haired, brown-eyed children.  I LOVE the Uboldi mold the genes of Marcos and me create, but it is fun to have one look a little bit more like me for a brief moment in time.  

Caleb loves to read, especially before bed.  He will read any time of the day, but at night, he would read 30 books in a row if I let him.  He went from not being able to hold still to wanting lots and lots of books.  I still wing it and "tell" the story instead of reading it more times than not.  He loves animals and their sounds so we play up that aspect in all the books.  But sometimes I just read, especially if it's a book that rhymes.  And usually he'll sit there and listen.  Until he's finished.  Then he closes the book, says "the end" (except it sounds nothing like the end for someone who doesn't know him) and chooses another book for me to read.  I love that books are such a big part of his culture.  That's how Marissa was too!  She grew up with little screen time and lots of books, toys and outdoor time.  And she has the BEST imagination ever!  I love that part of our family culture!!  We have plenty of things we need to work on, but I'm proud of many things we have decided to do and been able to accomplish as a couple and as a family.  

Caleb has a big smile and a playful demeanor.  I love connecting with him through words, giggles and his infamous grunt.  He started grunting to say yes months ago and even though he can say both yes and si now, he still grunts to indicate an affirmative answer more times than not.  That is a big part of where the nickname caveman came from.  He is a tough little man who knows how to get his needs met with a series of grunts, yells and unique hand gestures.  He is now able to look in a mirror and point out Caleb and mommy and not just looking for someone he recognizes in the mirror.  I don't know when that happened, but he's recently been talking about it.  It's a good thing, a developmental milestone.  It means he sees himself as separate from the world around him.  Kind of the way babies get separation anxiety.  They realize they are separate from mom and worry she won't come back when they are separated for a period of time.  Anyway, as we've asked Caleb about who is in the mirror or who's ball it is or whatever, he now answers, "K-BUB".  So our little caveman is transforming right before our eyes into our very own K-BUB!  Pretty cool stuff!  

He's becoming a picky eater and clearly has some sensory issues.  He loves his soft blanket on his face, he hates getting food on his hands and wants it washed off immediately, and textures of foods are starting to really bother him when he eats.  It'll be interesting to see how much we have to deal with sensory stuff before we are able to start helping him through Brain Balance exercises, which should help turn things around at some point.  

Caleb loves music!  I started taking him to the toddler Musikgarten class and he adores it!  He loves rhythm and gets calm and really listens whenever I put Musikgarten CDs on at home.  It's been cute to watch him make the connection that we're not in class, but he's still hearing music he heard in class.  He really is a smart little cookie!  

Preston

We're in the middle of Brain Balance and I'm tracking the progress of both Dylan and Preston on a blog specifically set up to document all of that.  Today Preston and I had a conversation that I wanted to share on my personal blog so I would remember.  I thought it was a little too personal to share with the world.  Preston was getting ready for bed.  His mind is so awake right now, and he's growing in leaps and bounds.  This is how the conversation went tonight.

P: Mom, is this way left and this way right? (pointing as he asked)
M: Yes, this is your right hand and this is your left hand.  Good job!
P: I think it'll be left then right then left again to get there.
M: To get where?
P:  My mission.
M:  Oh, yeah.  Well, maybe.
P:  I'm just not sure how to get there yet.  I guess Jesus will tell me where to go when it's time for me to go on my mission.
M:  Yes, Preston.  I'm sure Jesus will tell you where to go.
P:  I guess I'll just have to eat gluten on my mission, right?
M:  Yeah, you can probably eat gluten on your mission.
P:  Am I going to need a cell phone on my mission?
M:  You will probably have some sort of a phone so you can contact people.
P:  I'm just going to be so excited to tell you all about my mission when it's over.
M:  Yeah, bud.  I'm going to be so excited to hear all about it.
P:  You will?  You're going to want me to tell you all about it?
M:  Of course!
P:  Don't worry, Mom.  I'll tell you all about it.  I'm going to do so good on my mission.  You're going to be so glad!  And then maybe we'll have a party.
M:  A party?  Oh, you mean when you get home?  Yes, I'm sure we'll have a big party when you get home to hear all about your mission.


I seriously can't believe how mature this conversation was, not to mention spiritual.  This kid.  He's pretty amazing!  He has a heart of gold!  It's incredible to see how much the Brain Balance program is helping him already!  I can't wait to see how he continues to grow and develop this year.

Lessons Learned From A Princess Party

Today is Marissa's 4th birthday!  I honestly cannot believe she is that old already.  It seems like yesterday she was a baby.  And barely walking and starting to talk.  But nope, she's officially a preschooler!  Anyway, we had a fun party that kind of evolved as time progressed.  Over the years I have learned to tame my excitement towards themed parties.  Now I try to do simple, affordable, but fun and meaningful for the child.  That's not always easy to do.  Even pre-pinterest, I was a little out of control with my desire to tie everything together perfectly.  So...here are a few of the lessons I learned from my very first "princess party" (in no particular order).

1. Pinterest is evil...and awesome at the same time!  If you can get some ideas without going crazy or feeling totally inadequate, you can save yourself some time and effort.  But it's easy to get sucked into the black hole of Pinterest never to be heard from or seen again (just ask Marcos)!

 2.  Practical gifts are not what kids want.  For me, giving dress-ups is painful.  They aren't even real clothes.  But it was the only thing Marissa really wanted this year.  So she got two dresses (the first two non-hand-me-down dress-ups she has ever owned).  

3.  Four year old girls are one of the sweetest creatures to walk the earth!  They can also be the sassiest at times (but that's another post...and picture).

4.  Tell people you are having a theme party.  You never know who else may have had a similar party in the past.  You might end up hitting the jackpot and be able to borrow a bunch of cool decorations...FOR FREE!  Thanks Amy!

5.  Every little girl wants to feel like a princess.  And when she does, you're probably doing something right.  Not in the "I'm so spoiled I don't know what to do with myself" sense but in the "I am precious and treasured beyond measure" sense. 

6.  I'm only going to have a 4-year-old girl once.  I must cherish these moments!

7.  Brothers are cute, protective, and Marissa's biggest fans.  They also LOVE Olaf.  

8.  Getting 4 kids to smile simultaneously is nothing short of miraculous.  I'll take 2 out of 4 any day!

9.  Babies don't hold still for long (especially 10-11 month old boy babies).  Baby Olaf looks like he's MELTING! 

10. Even if you aren't planning on throwing a friend party, when your only daughter wants a princess party, you have a friend party.  

11. Girls pose! Even when they don't realize they're posing.  I think it's hidden somewhere in the second "x" chromosome. 

12.  I am still a total a tomboy!  And the mom of 3 boys. Look at the arm on those beautiful girlies!  Way to knock down the cups, chicas!

13.  Twirling in a princess dress is a MUST! 

 14.  Simples games are the best!  Throwing snowballs at the "ice castle" was a total hit with this crowd!  They could have played it forever!
15.  Four friends at a party for a 4-year-old is plenty.
16.  You can't invite everyone you know.  It isn't personal, it's practical!
17.  Pleasing the birthday girl is what matters, not what the rest of the world thinks.

18. Again, tell people you're throwing a party!  You might end up with a guest appearance.  One who brings darling princess crowns and wands for all the guests.  And then hosts a fun sing-along.  

Thanks MaryJane! 

19.  I can almost see why people buy pointless accessories for their daughters.  I may be super practical and frugal but LOOK HOW CUTE!!

20.  I just LOVE this girl! 

21.  A sing-along is a total hit with a bunch of Frozen fans!  Really!

22.  Kids love opening presents! (Shocker, I know!)

23.  And have a difficult time not helping the birthday girl to open presents.  ;) 

24.  My sister has an amazing cream cheese frosting recipe.  

25.  I can cook, bake and follow a recipe, but I will not be hired any time soon as a cake decorator.

26.  Despite my lack of skills in the decorating department, a simple cupcake with a Frozen character on a stick is a total hit with the 3-4 year old crowd (and the Olaf fan club)! 

27.  Magical moments don't happen every day!  

28.  Be grateful when you capture one! 

29.  Marissa is actually quite good at sharing if people ask her nicely to play with her things.  Not so much when things are taken from her (as is often the case with her brothers). 

30.  She's happy in the old hand-me-down dress-up as well as the new ones.  It doesn't seem to matter as long as it's sparkly, shiny, and you can twirl in it. 

31. Olaf is cool enough that a 10-year-old boy is willing to participate in a Frozen birthday party. 

32.  Middle Olaf was even willing to pose with Elsa.   

33.  Having Baby Olaf sleep during the princess party was BRILLIANT!  Big pat on the back for me right there!  

34.  Pay attention when your baby starts crying.  I was so excited to finally get a shot of him with his Olaf shirt that I didn't realize he was being bit by ants.  Poor kid!  

35.  Moms sometimes do stupid things to get a good picture of kids.

36.  And it's usually still worth it to us when all is said and done.

37.  Sometimes little princesses just want to play babies and watch Frozen and that's okay.   A couple games got postponed for after the party.  

38.  Have a plan, but learn to go with the flow. When it was clear we had played enough games, we postponed the rest for later.

39.  Big brothers like LOTS of games.  

40.  A simple game in the backyard with siblings is a beautiful thing!

This one was called "keep the ice blocks on Christoff's sled" and was really fun for my boys (and Marissa).  

41.  Sometimes you start out alone on a journey... 

42.  ...but realize you need help (or would rather work as a team) in the end!

Happy birthday, Princess Marissa!  We love you more than you will ever know!  Thanks for all the life lessons today and every day.  :)

A Moment Of Joy

It's been a rough month!  We had two birthdays in March, plus we're getting our house ready to sell (which I've found that after ten years  and four kids is quite a process).  I've been so busy working on the house, and Marcos has been way busy at work.  Needless to say, the kids have suffered.  It's been chaotic and our routine has all but dissolved.  The last couple of days, Dylan has been in his room for timeout more than he's been out.  I've screamed.  I've cried.  I have not been at my best.  Today we were able to watch General Conference as a family.  We put out treats with words and the kids could take a treat when they heard the word during a conference talk.  It was a pretty good conference session with all the kids participating.  After, we ate lunch and the kids asked Marcos to jump on the tramp with them.  And he did.  I stayed inside with Caleb and cleaned up the kitchen.  But...I want to take a moment to reflect on the pure joy I feel right now.  Not the chaos I've been dealing with or the fear or sadness, but the pure joy.  Watching my husband jump with the kids on the tramp while I hang out with the roley poley cheerful little caterpillar, inching his way along the floor in the family room brings me such joy.  So here is a glimpse into what brought me joy today.

Caleb Turns 7 Months

Caleb 5 months (January 2014)

Caleb 6 months (February 2014)

Caleb 7 months (March 2014)

Okay, at this point, I'm thinking blogging, journaling, etc. is a complete loss. I'm so far behind, my computer is a mess, and I've lost pictures. It's devastating! So I've been doing nothing. But there is this nagging inside me to journal, to capture little moments of my life and the lives of my children. Even if it's incomplete. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not Pinterest worthy (gasp). So here we go. As I said before, we are having some issues with our computer and consequently our pictures from the last few years. So I can't post exactly what I would otherwise post. But...Caleb is now 7 months old. He has reached some fun milestones over the last couple months that I thought I should mention. Two days before he turned 6 months, he got his first tooth, and four days after that his second one came in. He has been rolling around and scooting trying to explore his world and get into everything in sight for about a month and a half now. He didn't love solid food the first time he tried it, but after a couple more attempts, he is sold. He LOVES squash and bananas and we will continue introducing more food a little at a time. Caleb is very mellow and happy. He is usually content to play on the floor and interact with those around him. He is very tolerant of older siblings, cousins, and even the dog. However, once he is mad, he is definitely irritated. He can go from 0 to 60 in no time at all, and his squeal is as high pitched as any I have heard before. He sounds as if he's about to lose his voice when his squealing goes from happy to mad. It's very unique to him. He can balance on his legs (like our other kids have done with Marcos) but does not choose to very often and instead will let his legs buckle under him when Marcos tries to do "tricks" with him. He is wiggly and squirmy when it's time to change his diaper. He's definitely inquisitive and on the move right now. He is very social, but laid back. He laughs, but in a very chill, mom-you're-so-silly kind of way. He smiles and interacts, but on his own terms. He is a joy, and we are so lucky to have him in our family!

Valentine's Day

If you know Marcos, you know he has the biggest HEART ever! He would do anything for anyone.  He would literally give others the shirt off his back. It's just who he is. But, he's never been a good gift-giver.  EVER!  It used to bother me.  I am sentimental and think a lot about gifts before making the perfect purchase.  But I've had to learn to manage my expectations a bit.  Unfortunately, Valentine's Day is pretty much just another day around here.  After many years of hurt feelings and wondering why Marcos just didn't get it, I stopped worrying about it.  Some people are better at some things than others, and gift giving is definitely not his specialty.  Marcos was out of town on Valentine's Day this year so I didn't give the romantic holiday a second thought.  I helped the kids decorate boxes and get a few valentines ready for a party with friends and called it good.  So imagine my surprise when I opened up the door on Valentine's Day and there was a delivery from 1-800-flowers with my name on it.  Yep, the kid went all out and got me not one, but two dozen assorted roses.  Super impractical, and very cliche, but I have to say, I really did LOVE getting flowers.  So, I thought it was worth documenting this historic occasion.  Happy Valentine's Day, Marcos!  Thanks for being mine!

A Day In The Life

I decided it is time to get back to blogging a little.  I may never have as much time to dedicate to it as I used to, but this is the best way I have found for keeping a history of our family.  So, hopefully I'm back.  I may or may not ever "catch up" on what I didn't blog, but I'm going forward either way.  I decided to write this post because life is crazy busy right now.  I remember not long after Dylan was born, pulling out a journal my mom had kept when I was a baby and reading through it.  It was so comforting to hear her life as a young mother.  She was on the phone one time and I had gotten into the garbage and was flinging banana peels all over the kitchen.  Another time, I'd managed to spill an entire  bottle of vegetable oil on the kitchen floor and was happily "swimming" through the mess.  It helped me realize "this too shall pass" and that she was real too.  Life is busy and it may not calm down any time soon, but some day far into the future, I want to look back at these days  and remember them with fondness.  So here is just a random day.  Nothing special.  Just a normal day in the life.

Caleb was super fussy going to sleep last night, which threw his sleeping schedule off.  I woke up at 1:30 a.m. to feed him.  As I was changing his diaper at 1:45 a.m., Marissa wandered in sleeping and whiny saying she needed to go to the bathroom.  Took her to the bathroom, got her a sippy cup of water, and put her back in bed.  At 3:30 a.m. I heard Marissa starting with a croupy cough.  She's apparently caught some sort of bug again.  Not bad enough to worry too much, but something to keep an eye on in the nights to come.  At 5:45 a.m. I hear Marissa scream.  I think to myself, "NO!  This cannot be happening again."  Stupid daylight savings time and kids waking other kids.  Preston has been WAY OFF lately!  A good thing and a bad thing (since it usually means he's about to have major progress developmentally, but it's difficult to deal with in the meantime).  I took Preston out of his own bed and put him in Marissa's room alone and told him to go back to sleep.  Crisis averted.  Marissa and Dylan settle back into sleep without getting up before 6 a.m. for the day.  I feed Caleb again and put him back to sleep.

Marcos gets up, showers, and heads out the door at 6:30 a.m. to give plasma.  Our tight, one-income budget requires drastic measures to allow me to stay home with the kids.  He heads back home to grab breakfast at 7:45 a.m.  I hop in the shower and head downstairs to make breakfast for the crew.  I'm exhausted, but it's time to get moving.  Marcos checks messages and scheduling for work while he inhales his food.  I attempt to keep the kids relatively quiet while they eat so he can multi-task.  Dylan packs Marcos a lunch to take with him (he loves being helpful like that).  Marcos finishes up his work and heads out the door to visit patients.

Dylan starts his piano practicing at 8:30 a.m.  It's supposed to happen while I make breakfast so I can oversee the process, but we don't waste time, but it rarely does.  Now I have to try to stick around to listen to him practice when I need to help Marissa get dressed, brush teeth, and do her hair.  I get her settled and go check on Preston.  He is supposed to be doing his morning chores, which include making his bed, brushing his teeth, getting dressed and emptying the dishwasher.  He hasn't done any.  He is either really quick and gets everything done or it takes me all day helping, encouraging, and reminding him.  Today was the latter.

Despite Preston dragging his feet, I gather the kids for morning devotional.  This consists of song, prayer, pledge, calendar and weather, scriptures (illustrated simplified version) and a story from The Friend magazine.  Caleb wakes up hungry so I feed him while we finish devotional and work on memorization.  Dylan pretty much has the theme memorized for his Knights of Freedom group so we work on Articles of Faith.  He knows them, but forgets a word here and there so we are reviewing.
Marissa smiles through her memorization of the first Article of Faith.  Preston starts to throw a fit and then decides he will do it, but his own way.  Oh dear, it's going to be one of those days for him.

Dylan gets started with his independent subjects.  He's getting pretty good at working on his own.  He knows if he gets going, the day goes better and he is more likely to get time with friends if they are available to play.  Marissa hops on my lap with several story books so I spend some time reading to her while I hold Caleb and Preston stands up by the dishwasher thinking about starting his morning routine.  After what feels like 20 books, I get Preston to at least get dressed and brush his teeth and come join me for his subjects (reading, writing, and math).  He fights it for a second and then gets excited all over again.  His reading goes well.  It's coming along much better than I ever expected.  Although he is probably between a kindergarten and 1st grade level, he is MUCH further than I ever expected him to be at this point.  It takes a lot of patience and dedication to work with him on a regular basis, but he is getting there.

Caleb gets fussy so I put him down for another nap.  Still no regular schedule of naps, but a pattern of eating, playing and then sleeping.  His play time was long and now he is ready for the next rest period.  Dylan finishes everything he can do on his own and we still have 20 minutes until I think about lunch.  That's just enough time to hit a language arts lesson and/or his writing lesson for the day (both which require my help).  They are shorter than expected so we get through both and I start lunch while I give him his spelling words.  Prayer is said, sandwiches eaten, and many words spelled correctly.  It's a Thursday so Dylan has a geography class at 1:00 p.m.  He finishes spelling and lunch in time to head out the door to his class.

Somehow Preston gets a second wind and gets his dishwasher unloaded.  Hallelujah!  Since Dylan loading dishes depends on Preston getting his done, that cycle can become a problem in a hurry.  Now Dylan can maybe load dishes in the afternoon before there are even more added to the sink at dinner.

I feed Caleb again and read a couple books to Marissa and Preston.  Marissa brings me her cupcake fairy puzzle and we all put that together with Caleb cooing along with our conversation.  Dylan comes home and two friends join us.  Dylan is working with a new scout to help him get his Bobcat as one of his scouting requirements, and another friend joins us because her mom has an appointment.  We only have about an hour before our next commitment.  They quickly work on learning the scout promise and then commence playing.  The scout session/play date ends and Dylan walks one friend home after the other is picked up by her mom.  I get out a matching game, an Eye Spy preschool game, 6 books and a puzzle for Dylan to work with Marissa while I take Preston to music class.  I am helping with his class this year, which is awesome.  I knew I needed more time with him alone and it's been a bonus because his teacher is swapping our music tuition for the family in exchange for helping her.  Wa-hoo!  Free stuff is always good. However, Marcos recently got his Sons of Helaman group up and running and his second job overlaps with the time I am gone.  I didn't have a babysitter for Caleb lined up yet so I got him fed, and prayed he would sleep and be good while we were there so I could still be helpful.  Dylan is great with the other two kids, but I don't dare leave him with the baby just yet.  Marcos stops by for a paper he forgot and to change into his suit since he has a church meeting right after his group ends.  So he went from donating plasma to work all day, to his second job, to a church meeting.  I will see him again around 9:00 p.m.  Busy day!  I get Dylan settled with activities he can do with Marissa, feed the baby, and head out the door with Preston and Caleb.

We get back from music class, I feed Caleb again, and get dinner started.  Thankfully I've actually gone through to make a two-week menu since we are being super careful with money and trying to be somewhat healthy as well.  YIKES!  Dinner is a lot of work even with a plan.  Dylan loads dishes while I cook and we chat for a bit.  In the process he tells me I am one of his heroes.  I thank him, but he repeats it with more feeling, "No really, Mom!  You're one of my heroes.  You're one of the coolest people I know.   You can do everything so well!  You're such a good cook.  And, well, you can do anything.  I don't know how, but you just can."  One of the better moments of being a mom.  Makes all the hard work worth it somehow.  I feed the family (minus Marcos who will have to eat when he gets home), get fussy Caleb settled for his "mini-nap" before he eats and goes to bed for the night, and head upstairs to bathe Preston and Marissa (who have made many messes all throughout the house while I was making dinner).  I debate whether or not I will have the energy to clean up the tornado that occurred while I had to do a million other things.  I get lotion, essential oils (yeah, we use those too...we're the weird home school, natural birth, essential oil family now.  Mock if you must!) and pajamas on Preston and Marissa, read a handful of books to them while they alternate who gets to choose the next one, and say family prayer with Dylan, Preston, and Marissa.

Dylan hops in the shower and comes to talk to me.  Marcos gets home, I warm him up some food, he changes clothes, and reads to Dylan.  Knights of Freedom is with dads this month and they have one week left to finish their book.  Gotta get in reading whenever they can.  Dylan gets to stay up a little later, but at least gets a little one-on-one time with Marcos.  I'm completely spent and opt for listening to a general conference talk while I straighten up a bit rather than struggling to stay awake reading my scriptures and waking up to the complete disaster that is my house.  Marcos helps me clean up and we both head to bed, lucky to even get our teeth brushed for the night.

Yep, I'm exhausted just reading about the day!  Is every day that busy?  No, but in general there isn't much downtime for either of us.  It's a super crazy, busy life.  We don't fill our lives with extras that aren't necessary, but the things we have chosen that we feel are important for our lives keep us very busy.  We know these are the busy years that require sacrifice.  It's a crazy life, but it's definitely a great life!

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