Flutters

I think it takes me longer than some women to get used to the idea of a new baby. I guess when it's so abstract and seemingly unreal, it makes it difficult for me to focus on the baby coming and not just the miserable pregnancy. Sorry people, but it's true. I'm not the biggest fan of being pregnant. I'm grateful for it and all, but it's a lot of hard stuff mixed with a few very cool moments. But still I'm grateful for the miracle itself.

Anyway, around week 16 - right before we found out we were having a girl - I felt what I was pretty sure was the first kick. It was so soft and if I hadn't been pregnant before, I might have ignored it all together. But it happened a few times in a row so I figured that was it. With both of my boys, I felt them for the first time and then didn't for a few days and then felt them again. So for me the last few weeks have been torture. I think I maybe felt her move/kick 2-3 more times and that's it. It makes you a little crazy wondering if the baby's okay. I'm hoping it means she might be a little smaller and not quite as strong as my boys, but I doubt it - we seem to produce pretty sturdy kids! Dylan and Preston's kicks were PAINFUL by the end. :) Anyway, this past week has finally been the payoff I've been waiting for. I feel soft little drumming several times a day now. The reality that there is a little baby growing inside me getting stronger every day who moves around and kicks is amazing! So I guess it finally hit me. We're having a baby! If only we could bundle up such wonderful moments to save them for the rough times that we know lie ahead. But for now, I'm going to enjoy the gentle movements of my baby girl. Stay tuned, I'll let you know for sure next week if she still looks like a girl. :)