Dylanisms

• Dylan said the prayer Christmas Eve. It went something like this. "...Please bless Santa that he will be able to deliver the presents safely so that we can open presents and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Please help all mankind to know that Jesus was born to save us. And please bless Christmas..."
• Dylan's been asking me about the man in the moon. He told me he saw one on TV. He asked me, "Is that the man in the moon?" I said, "Yes, but sometimes you can see him better than other times." He said, "It looks more like a dinosaur in the moon to me. Like maybe a T-Rex in the moon."
• Dylan was telling me that he likes to wash his feet before we go places. Then he said, "Hey mom, what did Jesus washed the apostles' feet with?" Before I could reply he said, "I know what he washed them with. He washed them with his tears." I said, "How'd you know that?" He replied, "Because I'm a smartie pants."
• I was drawing a turtle on Preston's poster for him. Dylan saw it and said, "How did you draw that turtle, Mom? That's the best turtle I've ever seen. I never tried to draw a turtle because I just don't think I know how." He paused and said, "Oh wait. Remember... Be strong, and have good courage..." singing the song from the YM/YW theme that I played over and over to memorize for Young Women in Excellence.
• Preston was upstairs kicking his fire truck bed and you could just hear a tap tap tapping sound. Dylan said, "What's that, Mom? Is that Marissa? Is she a giant?"
• During conference, Dylan came down with a plastic Santa Claus plate to pass me the sacrament.
• Dylan was telling me that when Preston feels shy he goes over and hides behind him. He said, "I don't know why he does that, but I just rub him on the head when that happens."
• Dylan said, "He's up-nauseous! What does up-nauseous mean, Mom?" I said, "Kind of like annoying." He said, "Yeah, he's annoying. Up-nauseous."
• Dylan said, "Hey Mom, I always pretend that 62 horses are pulling the van. They know how red means stop and green means go, but I call out to them when I see the green in horse. I know how to speak horse."
• Dylan was in the tub. He looked up at me and said, "So how's life treating you, Mom?"
• Dylan said, "Hey Mom, I know why you wanted to grow up. So you could just be the boss of everything." I was tired of fighting with him so I just said, "Yep, you're right. You're going to love it. I can't wait until you're an adult. You're going to absolutely love it." He said, "When I'm 30, I'm just going to boss my kids around so much!"
• Dylan was telling me about catching his grasshopper, Grassy. He said, "Mom, you will not believe it. He was on the loose, but I caught him. I am so amazing. I just took the 'twiyers' and I caught him..." I think he meant tweezers, but was mixing up pliers and tweezers.
• We were watching a Halloween show and Dylan looks over and says, "What does 'tricker' mean, Mom?" It took me a minute to realize he thought trick-or-treat was tricker treat.
• Dylan told me he had a dream about Jesus. I asked him what his dream was about. He said he had a dream that the Lamanites had captured Jesus and he had to save him. He was so serious and said, "But I did it, Mom. I saved Jesus and I defeated the Lamanites." That kid!
• I was having a really bad day. Everything I've been stressing about was weighing down on me and I was having a very hormonal moment that made things ten times worse. Dylan came over and said, "Mom, what's wrong?" I said, "I'm just sad, bud. I'll be okay." He replied, "I feel that way sometimes. I sometimes feel like I hate myself." Now I was really feeling bad. "You do? I'm sorry you feel that way. What do you do when you feel like that?" "I just take ten deep breaths. And sometimes I do chores. It seems to help to do chores." I started breathing in and out deeply to show him his advice was helpful. About an hour later, I was crying again. Dylan came around the corner to see me and said, "Mom, don't be sad. Hmm...maybe you need to take 20 deep breaths." It was so cute. He really is a problem solver by nature. Later that day, I was up changing Marissa. He brought up a plate with broken pieces of bread up to me and told me it was the sacrament. I'm pretty sure we're going to have to have a little discussion about how sacred the sacrament is and how it is only appropriate to take the sacrament at church, but that was not the time or place. Anyway, I took a piece of bread and he started to walk away. Then he turned back and said, "Mom, did that help you remember Jesus?" Honestly, that kid. His level of understanding and maturity kills me sometimes. I just replied, "Yes bud, it helped me remember Jesus." "Good," he said in a matter-of-fact tone, satisfied that he'd solved the world's problems for the day. :)