Gratitude

Human behavior is often predictable.  Every once in awhile, however, I am pleasantly surprised when I witness a person react to a certain situation.  Occasionally that person is me.

Last week, I was given tickets to attend a conference.  It was fairly last minute, but I was excited.  Thankfully, even though we didn't have a lot of notice, Marcos was able to take a couple days off work to stay with the kids so I could attend.  The conference took place on Thursday, Friday and Saturday.  I had a great time and learned a lot!  Friday Marcos brought the kids on the Front Runner to see me.  It was a complete surprise!  The whole family walked in the door JUST as we broke for lunch.  The timing was PERFECT!  The kids were a little tired and whiney as we trekked around downtown searching for a place to eat.  The younger two were fighting over who wanted me to carry them (Marcos forgot a stroller).  But...it was good.  I enjoyed myself and felt renewed.

Saturday I woke up and was exhausted.  I don't know if it was two full days away from the kids, sitting still most of the day or just late nights and early mornings, but it caught up to me.  Dylan had a presentation for the co-op he participated in this year and needed a little help to go over a few things, and our "to do" list at home was growing in size.  I debated it back and forth, but ended up missing the final day of the conference to help my family.  Good, better, best.  Saturday, being a mom was BEST.  We got the swamp cooler set up and Dylan finished reviewing some things for his presentation.  Marcos took Dylan early to help set up.  I brought the younger three kids and was a few minutes late by the time I got everyone cleaned up and dressed.  But...I made it in time for everything but the opening song.  Wa-hoo!

Dylan did such a great job and it was fun to see the other kids and the progress they have made.  It's been such a good group for Dylan!  He presented on what they learned about cells in their botany and cytology class, played his piano piece, and recited the Declaration of Independence with his class.  He also discussed the business they created growing and selling plants in their permaculture class.  The whole thing was great!  I got teary eyed as the closing song, "Gethsemane" was sung by one of the girls in the group.  It was BEAUTIFUL!  The kids thanked their teacher at the end.  Dylan cried as he told of her love for him and thanked her for helping him fight his battles with anger and sadness as his family experienced many difficulties the last few months.  It was touching!

The students all went into the kitchen to bring out the refreshments.  I hugged Dylan as he walked over to me.  It was a tender mother/son moment!  Caleb saw us and walked towards me with a cookie in his hand.  I picked him up to join our big group hug and he PUKED all over both me and Dylan.  Gasp.  "Oh No!"  I did my best to keep the vomit contained as I rushed down the hall to find a bathroom.  I didn't realize Dylan had it all down his shirt as well.  I didn't have time to assess the situation.  I was in damage-control mode.  Thankfully both Marcos and my mom were there to clean up in the cultural hall.  I don't want to make this too detailed as I know many of my friends and family are squeamish, but this is THE WORST vomit experience I have had with any of my four children.  When I picked him up, half my hair had fallen to the front.  There was puke on my shirt, all the way DOWN my shirt, on my hair and on my pants.  Blech!  SO DISGUSTING!

My first internal thought was, "Oh NO!  What are we going to do?" followed immediately by, "I'm so sorry, people!  I had no idea he was sick or I would not have brought him."  I try to steer clear of crowds when I know we're germ-infested and just the idea of exposing the world to the vomit plague made me queasy.  I set Caleb down on the bathroom floor to pull myself together and formulate a plan.  Preston had followed us down the hall and was sitting outside the door complaining about the disgusting smell.  SUPER HELPFUL!  I told him to run to the garbage can or toilet if he thought the smell was going to make him throw up as well.  YIKES!!  Let's not turn this vomiting episode into a chain reaction of epic proportions!  That would be bad!  Really bad!!  And then...a wave of gratitude hit me.  "I'm so glad I got to see Dylan's program!  I am so grateful this happened AFTER the program finished."  Smile.  Deep breath.  I took off Caleb's shorts and shirt and attempted to rinse and ring them out in the sink.  I washed him off the best I could with paper towels in the bathroom and had him sit by the wall.  I put half my shirt in the sink and rinsed and wrung it out over and over.  I did the same with my hair and eventually took a paper towel and tried to clean off my pants a bit.  Ewww...!!  The whole time I was thinking how disgusting this was, I couldn't help but feel more gratitude.

As I continued the clean-up process, thoughts of gratitude continued.  "Thank You, Lord!  I am so incredibly grateful!  Thank You for allowing me to be here when Caleb got sick.  Sick kids need their mom!  It would have been really difficult if this had happened while I was at the conference.  And I probably wouldn't have been able to attend at all.  Thank you, Father!  Thank you for allowing me to attend the conference and still be here for my baby.  Oh my heck...this could have happened when Marcos was riding the Front Runner by himself with four kids.  Yeah, that would have been a disaster.  Thank you, Lord!  Thank you for understanding our need for timing Caleb's illness so that we could both be available to take care of him and still see Dylan perform.  Thank you!  You really do have this all figured out, don't you?  And You really do have our best interests in mind!  Why do I doubt that so often?  Why can't I see things more clearly?  I totally get it.  It doesn't mean nothing bad will happen to us, but look at how much worse this could have been.  And it wasn't.  It just wasn't.  Wow!  I am awe-struck right now!  I am blessed beyond measure!  I really am!  Life is difficult sometimes, but my perspective changed for a moment today.  Thank You, Father, for allowing me to see life through different eyes this time.  Thank you!!"

As I sit here a couple days removed from this moment in time, I can't help but reflect.  It reminds me so much of a talk by President Uchtdorf, Grateful In Any Circumstances.  I don't see myself as an eternal pessimist, but I am lightyears from achieving Pollyanna-like status.  Gratitude isn't something that comes natural to me, and I often find myself dwelling on the negative side of things.  I'll be honest, it's tough not to with VOMIT running down your hair.  But, I saw a different side of life with God's help on Saturday.  And in that moment I caught a glimpse of a better me, the person I can become with time, patience and grace.  Gratitude.  Who knew such a simple concept could have such a profound effect on one's soul?