Long Days, Longer Nights

Man, I am such a blog slacker. I always want to post a little something, but I find two problems. One, I am completely exhausted and decide it's not worth staying up for. Two, I have a hard time posting negative stuff and it's been a rough few weeks. Routine, routine, routine. I've been running from one thing to the other. Two days at work, two days tending Anthony, one day of extracurricular classes for the kids. Phew, just thinking about it makes me tired. No big deal though. Nothing most people aren't dealing with. You make the schedule work. Then there's the gym. I've made it a goal to get back to the gym, even if that means after the kids are in bed. I just can't have it be the very last priority any more. I can't seem to make 5:30 a.m. happen so I go in the evenings when Marcos is home or when I can't swing that or need to spend some time with the kids, I wait until they go to bed, run to the gym and come back to throw myself in bed (after a much needed shower). So that's all working for me. Then comes then dreaded night. Preston has been going through a phase here and there where he wakes up. He is impossible to rock or comfort in the middle of the night without milk so I've stopped that horrible habbit and let him cry it out a bit. Luckily, he wasn't so far gone that he has to cry too long. I usually end up putting him in the playpen in the toy room so he won't wake Dylan. And then there's Dylan. He just won't stay in bed. We have a great bedtime routine and always have. We are consistent and he goes to sleep like a happy little boy. He sleeps 4-6 hours and then he is awake. He wants chocolate milk in a sippy cup or a stuffed animal or a book and a flashlight. So here's the problem. First, I can't cope at 2 a.m. when I've been doing that for nights on end. I am so behind on my sleep I don't know how I manage to get up in the morning. Something tells me there's no other option so I keep going, but honestly, it's going to catch up to me. I try to quietly walk him back into his room, put on his music and tuck him in. Usually I end up doing that a million times. Last night, he was just not taking no for an answer. He decided he wanted to sleep in my bed and was determined to do that. Either that, or negotiate for something he wanted more. So I can't figure out what's going on. Part of me thinks it's just a control thing. Another part of me thinks it's related to his needing to go to the bathroom and it wakes him up and he doesn't know what to do (he still wears pullups at night). Another part of me wonders if he's got something wrong with him, either medically or psychologically that is not allowing him to sleep at night. Whatever it is, I feel like a horrible mother who doesn't know how to raise her kid. I mean, what almost 4-year-old can't sleep at night. He doesn't act like he's afraid of anything. It's more that he decides he doesn't want to be in his room anymore that night. And I am just not in the right frame of mind to deal with it when I have not had a full night's sleep in ages. I think it also ends up affecting our days because both of us are overly tired so he is closer to a meltdown and I am closer to a reaction to any potential meltdowns. It's rediculous! Any words of wisdom?