Dylanisms

Here are some of the crazy little sayings we refer to as "Dylanisms". I try to keep track of them, but preschoolers say funny things all day long so it gets more difficult as he gets older. Here are some of the Dylanisms that I actually wrote down the last 8 months or so. They're kind of in journal format so they're written "to" him.

• You call the hazard lights in the car “tick tock clock.”
• One day driving in the car you said, “Mom, those are wonderful sunglasses.”
• You were looking at the exhaust pipe in the car and said, “Mom, is that smoke?” I told you yes. You said, “I’m scared” and I asked you why. You said, “Because it will cough us.”
• We couldn’t find our car at Gateway after you had gone with Abuela to see a movie. Laura and Abuela went the other way and we walked and walked trying to find the car. You said, “Don’t worry, Mom. I will look for Gabi. I will put on my raccoon eyes.”
• That same day, I called Abuela to tell her we were lost. Luckily I found the car before she picked up the phone. After I hung up the phone you said, “Did you talk to Abuela? What did she say? Turn right, then left?”
• You were getting low on pants to wear because I hadn’t done the laundry yet. I pulled out an old pair of hand-me-downs that had patches on the knees. You said, “No, not the ones with the bandaids.”
• You came to give me a kiss while I was in bed and not feeling well. We have so much static electricity around the house and it shocked your lips when you kissed my cheek. You looked at me and said, “Mom, you sharpened me.”
• After your bath one day you coughed. I still had the stomach flu and was doing the best I could to take care of you while Papi went to a meeting. You said, “Mom, I have the cough and you have the flu.”
• You climbed up on my lap one day and said, “I need my bubbas.” That is something I always say when I need a hug from you or something. I asked you what your bubbas was and you pointed to me. You just wanted me to hold you. Sometimes you are such a big boy and something you are still my little baby. You’re caught right in the middle.
• I was scooping some ice cream for you and it was so hard. You could tell I was struggling and you said, “Mom, just be strong like a Dad, okay?” So much for girl power. Apparently you’ve already figured out that Papi can open things that Mommy can’t.
• You got out a little plastic container with nails in it one day and set it on the counter. You said, “Mommy, can I just leave that out so Papi can build me a bunk bed?” You are obsessed with bunk beds now that Diego and Mason have them and you can’t wait until Preston is a little older so you will have a bunk bed too.
• We had Kambrie over for a play date and you two were playing so cute. At one point, you were playing with a Little People toy that makes music and you said, “Come on, let’s dance.” You grabbed hands and were swinging your arms and jumping around. Then you put your arm around her to lead her around the other way and said, “Come on, my princess.” It was so cute. You were such a nice little gentleman.
• We were leaving Sam’s Club one night. I was pushing Preston in the cart and you were on Papi’s “hombros.” Out of nowhere you say, “Mom, I’m freaking out?” I start thinking (1) Where did you hear that? And (2) Why are you freaking out? So I say, “Why bud?” You respond, “Because these cars are not getting out of my way.” Even though you weren’t walking, they were bothering you. Funny kid!
• The electricity was out when we got home from church on February 24, 2008. It was so weird because we kept forgetting and trying to turn lights on or the TV or oven… It’s amazing how much we rely on electricity. You were so cute though. You thought about it for a minute like you were nervous and then said, “Oh, I know what to do” and ran to get out the flashlight. I was explaining how electricity is more than the light burning out and how it affects the television, computer, etc. You started talking about the “a light tricity” It was so cute! It actually makes more sense to me too!
• The other day, you wanted me to play with you and you said, “Mommy, let’s play scientists.” I have to say that was a proud moment for me. It makes me feel like I must be teaching you something for you to think it’s cool to play scientists. You really are a smart little guy.
• Speaking of cool. Lately, you say everything is cool or awesome and you just sound like such a big boy instead of a toddler. It’s crazy to watch you grow up so fast and yet I truly love it. I don’t want to keep you little…I just want to enjoy you while you are.
• We have been so eager to get outside. It’s been such a long, cold winter. Today it was warm outside and you and Anthony went out to play in the sandbox. You were playing well for over an hour. At one point, I peeked out at you and you two had a plastic baseball bat. You were walking around the tree in circles, looking down at the ground and eventually hitting the tree with the bat. I asked you what you were doing and you told me you were killing all the spiders.
• A little later, I peeked out again and couldn’t see you. I could hear you, but you didn’t come when I called so I walked out and talked to you about not leaving the yard. Somehow you had gotten the fence open. Sometimes the latch doesn’t close all the way so you probably just pulled hard and it opened. As I was talking to you about not leaving the yard you said, “But we were just talking to that ‘Bob-the-builder’ and he told us he had to work on his car.” I guess you were over talking to the neighbor who was telling you he had to work on his car. You didn’t know his name, but he had lots of tools so you called him a Bob-the-Builder.
• We're in the process of switching Preston over to whole milk. We're to the half formula, half whole milk stage (usually). You’ve been a little obsessed with what type of milk Preston gets to drink You were asking me if Preston could drink cow's milk and I told you yes, but he still drinks babies’ milk. I think you still remember when the answer to that question was "No, Preston drinks babies’ milk." Here's a bit of our conversation.

Dylan: What kind of milk do we drink?
Mommy: Cow milk
Dylan: What kind of milk do babies drink?
Mommy: Mommy's milk or formula. It's special milk for babies, but Preston is getting a little bit bigger and he'll be able to drink cow milk soon too.
Dylan: Hey Mom, I know where we get babies' milk
Mommy: Where?
Dylan: Baby cows. And horses give us vegetables and pigs give us fruit.
Mommy: I think fruit comes from trees and vegetables come from the garden.
Dylan: And chickens give us (pause to think for a second)...chicken, so we can have ham sandwiches. Wait, I know what chickens give us - cheese.

At this point, you were obviously just being silly and wanted me to laugh. I stopped responding with an answer, but couldn’t help but chuckle a little. You’re a nut!

• Out of the blue one day you said, “Mom, I have a clever idea.”
• You like to turn the pages of the books when I read to you. When you went to the turn the page, you said, “Mom, should I lick my tongue?” You meant should I lick my finger to turn the page. Just a bad little habit I have when turning tough pages.
• One night I decided to rearrange everything in the toy room. In the morning, you looked at me with a smile and said, “I love this new stuff and where it all is.” What a grateful little boy you’re turning out to be.
• When the frontrunner train passed in front of us, you said, “Mommy, there’s the frontrunner. But what about the backrunner?”
• According to you, guinea pigs are called “penny kids.”
• One day after church, you said, “Mommy, I want to change my shirt, but not my pants. I’m going to wear these pants to grandma’s house today because they’re my fancy pants.”
• You were sitting in the car looking at your legs and said, “Mom, do I have hairs?” I said, “Yep, you’re growing hairs on your legs just like Papi.” You said, “Yeah, but Papi has hairs everywhere.” With a smile, I replied, “Yeah, Papi is pretty hairy.” You said, “Yeah, he’s so crazy, he’s just hairy everywhere.” I can’t believe you noticed hairs growing on your legs. You’re way too observant!
• I was telling you and Preston that I loved you and this is how the conversation went.
Dylan: You don’t love Papi?
Mommy: Of course I love Papi, he’s my husband. He’s just not here right now.
Dylan: Oh, he’s the husband, but who’s the wife?
Mommy: I’m the wife and some day you’ll be a husband.
Dylan (after thinking for a minute): Well, I just want to be a cowboy.
• Mommy and Papi were talking about things being “sopping wet” under the sink. You said, “Let me see” opened the dishwasher and said, “Yeah, that’s ‘softened bread.’”
• When I was tickling you and you’d had enough you told me to keep my hands quiet.
• I was squishing you after you’d just eaten dinner and you said, “Hey, you’re choking out the food.”
• You call scooping ice cream “strunching” and no one knows why.
• You play a game where you tap my hand with a spoon and I say “ay chiwauwau”. You think it’s about the funniest game ever. I was tired of playing so I closed my hand into a fist and you hit the top of my hand. I told you that it really hurt and you said, “Oh sorry, next time don’t put your ankles there.” Apparently you think ankles and knuckles are the same thing.
• You were trying to get my attention and said, “Hey Mommy, I need to talk to you. Can I talk to you?” I said, “Sure Dylan.” You responded with, “I’m sorry I’m driving you crazy.” It had been one of those days and you knew it!
• I was reading “Breaking Dawn” and looked over at you and said, “Dylan, this book is crazy.” You said, “Then don’t read it.”
• You are obsessed with “The Lion King” and you sing “I just wait can’t to be king.” A little flipping of the words.
• You do the same thing with Land Before Time. You call it “The time before land.”