The Bread-Making Incident

You'd think I make these stories up, but nope. They seem to be a regular part of motherhood. Today I decided to be productive. I got up, got Dylan off to school and was all set to make a double batch of delicious homemade wheat bread. The plan was to keep two loaves and give a couple away. We have a couple WONDERFUL neighbors who have been giving Dylan a ride in the morning and my heart-felt thank you is LONG overdue. Anyway, I was going to be super mom. I was ready to get my bread going, play with my darling Preston, clean bathrooms (it's Tuesday and so far I was still on my "cleaning" schedule for the week) get dressed and then head down to my grandma's house for a much needed visit. I had Preston next to me helping count the measurements and dump in ingredients. If you missed the post a few months ago, my mom gave me her old school bread maker that still works like a charm. So occasionally I bust out the machine and make some homemade bread. Anyway, I don't know much about making bread, but our recipe calls for mixing all the ingredients except the flour and then adding the flour one cup at a time until it is the right "stickiness." So we mixed all the ingredients and then turned the machine on low while I scooped up each cup of flour to add to the mixture. A few cups into the process, I dropped the stupid measuring cup in the bowl and the disaster began. First, a big blob of flour and goo jumped out of the machine and hit me right in the eyeball. With one eye shut tight, I reached for the switch to turn the machine off. Even though I got the switch, the hook still rotated around several times and each time it hit the measuring cup, it kind of jumped out of the bowl a little spewing gobs of liquid bread goo everywhere. I kid you not, it was like a geyser.

I ran over to the sink to take care of my eye that now felt like it was glued shut. Once I could see again, I stepped back to assess the situation. Let me just say it was NOT pretty! There is no possible way to do justice to this story. It was the biggest mess ever! Thankfully it was bread though (right, Lau? :) My sister-in-law had a poop incident recently that makes me want to die!) I should've been mad, but I could only laugh at the whole thing. I mean, really, are you kidding me? By that time, Preston had his stubby little fingers in the flour and was shaking the powder off his hands making an even bigger mess. I guess after witnessing this he figured throwing flour was a completely acceptable activity. But he had the biggest smile ever! I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of both of us in this gooey kitchen. I was going to dump everything, try to clean up and give up on the bread, but decided I'd finish the batch and see how it turned out. I had no way of knowing how much "stuff" had been lost so I really had to judge the amount of flour by feeling the dough. But the good news is, I did end up with four pretty good loaves of bread.

Let's just say that bread goop with only a few cups of flour in it is REALLY sticky. And then it hardens just like a loaf of bread if you leave it out. The stuff was EVERYWHERE! It leaped across the room to the refrigerator, covered the counters, walls, pantry door and floor and even managed to make its way to the ceiling. My utinsil holder was covered so every wooden spoon, spatula and spaghetti scoop I own needed to be washed. I finished the bread, set it out to rise and started at the top of the kitchen. I figured everything was a big mess so I just let Preston pretend to "do the dishes" while I was cleaning so he would feel helpful. Kids love playing in water and his making a mess was the least of my concerns. :) I guess I should feel grateful. I don't think my cabinets and walls have been washed so well in years. By the time I got to the floor, Dylan was home from school. It took me 2 1/2 + hours to make bread and clean up the big fat mess I made.

I tell you, this stay-at-home mom business is not for sissies. Give me an office job any day and I will be fine - I can go in early, stay late, work hard and tackle any project, all while helping build office comradery. But put me in a kitchen with children standing by and you never know what you'll get. Sorry Marcos, I'm doing the best I can! :) Actually, I will NOT apologize to him today. I tried to get some sort of empathy from him for that many hours of what I consider to be HARD LABOR and he said something about not feeling bad for me for cleaning up a mess that I made throwing flour all over the place. Oh no, you did not just say that! He is so on my list! :)

These pictures do not do it justice, but they were all I could manage to get with sticky hands and no place to set a camera, not to mention attempting to keep Preston away from the mess while I cleaned.

You gotta LOVE this kid! He thought the whole ordeal was a fun adventure.

The flour on my face after I washed most of it out of my eye

Goo and flour all down my pants (thankfully I was still in pajama pants)

My shirt

Yep, that is really how I looked for a good three hours today

You can kind of see how the goo is everywhere - the counters, cabinets, utinsils, microwave, etc

I know it blends into the tile, but it was EVERYWHERE!

I had to scrub the grout with a scrub brush to get the stuff loose

It really was such a mess! I can't believe I didn't manage to get a picture of the pantry door. It was covered from top to bottom. That door alone probably took me 45 minutes to clean!