Scary Night

Yesterday I took five kids up to Raft River (more to come on that). The day was fine, but Marissa got progressively more fussy throughout the day. I finally figured it was probably thrush because her mouth had quite a bit of white around it and she was showing signs of struggling to latch on and being in more pain. No big deal, right? We made her an appointment for that night. I pumped a bottle and tried to get her to eat it. I didn't even pump 3 ounces. No wonder she had been eating so often again - her mouth was so sore that she didn't want to eat more than she had to. Poor baby! She ate most of her bottle and then soon after started looking and acting very weird. Her coloring was getting worse and when I pulled off her clothes to watch her breathing, it was very shallow with many long periods of not taking a breath at all. I know an infant's breathing can have many off and on periods of breathing, but this was different. She was not doing well. Marcos said he thought he should go in with me to the appointment in case we needed to take her to the hospital.

We called our neighbor to see if their son could come sit with the boys (who were in bed, but not asleep yet) so we could go together. They all rushed over. The dad, who is an anesthesiologist, said she didn't look great and was pretty floppy and lethargic (which is what I had thought) and that we should probably take her straight into the E.R. Oh man. Inside my stomach dropped, but I did my best to hold it together. I knew it would be best if I could stay calm and just figure out why her breathing was all of a sudden so shallow and her coloring was so off. Marcos drove like a maniac, which about made my heart stop. I was sitting in the back next to her and just kept pushing on her chest to remind her to breathe. It was like she just kept forgetting to breathe. Not just once in awhile, but often. Her eyes started looking glossy and she closed them so I told Marcos to pull the car over. It's hard to keep an infant from falling asleep, but again, this was different. She went from bad to worse and she rarely took a breath without my putting slight pressure on her chest. I told Marcos she wasn't doing well and to pull the car over. He told me to call 9-1-1, which I did and then out of nowhere it hit me and I just yelled to him to give her a blessing. I didn't hear most of it because I got on the phone with 9-1-1, but I have to say, I am so grateful that he was with me and that he holds the priesthood. Why we didn't think of that before we went to the hospital, I will never know. Marcos pulled her out of the car so I could lay her on my lap and monitor her better. But she was not responsive to any movement at all. She was so limp. It was the scariest thing ever! While we were waiting for the ambulance, I ended up lying her on the seat and propping her head back to try to get her to breathe a little deeper (that's what 9-1-1- told me to do). All I remember is listening to her and saying, "Breathe, baby, breathe. Please breathe." When the ambulance got there, they asked a couple of questions and then took her from the seat into the ambulance. I followed them in there and in no time they had her crying like crazy. I'm not sure what that guy did to her, but it worked. And it was the best sound I've ever heard! I felt bad for my baby, but I was so grateful to hear her cry. They monitored her vitals on the way to the hospital and for a few hours in the hospital, but she was fine after that. They sent us home with a monitor to use at home and she did fine last night and so far this morning. We will probably only need to monitor her when she is sleeping or when we are worried about her, but she is doing awesome. In some ways it makes me feel like the crazy mom that everyone talks about whose baby was fine when they took her to the E.R. Marcos thinks I'm dumb for worrying about stuff like that, but I do (not to mention the big bill we will be adding to the ever-growing stack of medical bills). But truly I am just grateful that she is okay now. I think it must have been the blessing. She was so unresponsive and minutes later able to come to and cry and start breathing regularly again. I can't imagine our lives without that precious child and I feel so thankful she is doing great!