Sacrament meeting was just what I needed to hear today. The stake presidency spoke to us and it was really good. One of the counselors talked about how we need to be more aware of the way we act around others and the way we might impact their lives. He gave the example of people in traffic and the way they react to others. Clearly a good example of not being at our best. I must've been helping kids with something because I think I missed part of the second analogy, but it must have been about standing in line for a ride. Apparently he watched while person after person got into the front of this line. Someone finally said something to the people and they responded that they just wanted to ride with their family. He said we may not realize that we are negatively impacting others when our lives merge and also that people may not be trying to be rude (they just wanted to ride with their family and didn't think about the people they were imposing on). Anyway, it hit me hard. Our ward boundaries split almost a year ago and it's been a little rough. I think it's always a hard thing for people to be thrown into other wards. We stayed in the same ward, but lost big areas of our old ward and gained others. I feel like I'm fairly polite to people, but I've thought lately (and his talk made me really think) about how some of the newer people have talked to me and I'm sure that is not the easiest thing. I respond, but then go on with my life. It's not a shrug off, but just my focusing on myself rather than on others. I really want to be more able and willing to help others around me. Be more of a friend than an acquaintance. That is when I am truly the happiest.
The other counselor (the stake president was attending a farewell) talked about times being tough economically. He even threw politics in there and talked about how every few years, one party wants to blame the other for how horrible things are and that it's probably not any one party's fault, but also that it's not really much harder than it has been in the past. People have had it harder and had to make more sacrifices and they still pulled through. That hit me and my negative attitude like a ton of bricks. It's true, ya know. Anyway, he also talked about how sometimes people think about how giving up 10% of their income to tithing is such a hardship and how many bills it would pay. Or how much extra time they would have if they didn't have a certain calling or have to go visiting or home teaching. Then he said that these things are a commandment (not optional, but a requirement) but that we are immediately blessed for paying tithing and serving in our callings. We may not know it, but we are. Man, was this guy in my house yesterday to hear me complaining about these very things? Did he hear my sobbing and listen to my prayers. I'm guessing a lot of people must feel this way, but it sure felt like he was speaking directly to me.
Church was also so much fun because Primary feels me with such joy. I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I was called to be the Primary Chorister about a month ago. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing, but honestly, I smile from ear to ear when I'm singing. Looking out at all those beautiful children and their brilliant, loving spirits is enough to bring me close to tears. It's hard to watch my own "spirited" child struggle to even stay in his seat, but I try to focus on my calling and pray that he will learn and gradually do better through the patience and love of his own teachers (bless your souls for dealing with that many 3-4 year olds every week).
I don't know how this "trial" is all going to play out, but I'm choosing to continue in faith and work my tail off so that I know I've done my part and then believe that everything will be okay. I came away from church today with a full heart ready to serve more, obey better and endure to the end!
7 comments:
You look so happy in Primary - your enthusiasm is contagious! My husband and mother were "complaining" about how loud the primary kids singing is and how the kids need a 4-solid walls room so the rest of the ward can hear their lessons.
Being new in Sunbeams I have nothing but hope and enthusiasm for the challenge. I had a nice break from Primary, enough to realize Primary is the best! If you have any tips to help me help your kiddo, let me know - I want nothing more than for him to be happy and feel safe and loved at church.
As far as your husband's social work goes, there are so few willing to fill that necessary field, they should pay him to take the test! As if you can measure a person skill at helping people with a written test - sheesh.
Anyway, just wanted to let you know you're an awesome chorister, and a brilliant shining example to me in so many ways!
Hurrah to us frustrating the rest of the ward with our singing in Primary. If that's the biggest complaint I get, then we're doing okay. Those kids do make me happy. I can hardly stand it! They just make me come alive. I guess they found the calling I needed right now.
Thank you for your enthusiasm and willingness to teach Dylan. I will send a few Dylan tips your way. I'm reading a book called "Parenting the Ephraim's Child" right now, which is very helpful. I think every LDS person teaching or parenting a "strong willed" child should read it. It helps shed a more positive light on these awesome kids and explains how needed they are to get through these last days. I truly believe it. But they come with some challenges. Everything is more intense with them. So our highs are higher and our lows are lower.
It takes the right amount of structure, strictness (is that a word?) love and patience to get to an understanding, but if you can get there, the kid is solid gold. He loves participating and being a helper and needs a lot of praise for the little stuff. And like any young child, wants to talk about his interests so I try to tie whatever he is thinking about back to what I was trying to teach him. It seems to work. He remembers everything I tell him! I'm working with him a lot at home and trying to encourage him with Primary and I think we're gradually getting there.
Anyway, I'll email you some helpful stuff because he can either be your best asset or your biggest challenge. He loves kids and is a great friend and loving big brother so I try to use his strengths in my home when he's being a bit of a challenge. But thanks for your desire to help. If the adults in his world can help direct the energy and enthusiasm that he came with, he's going to be one amazing human being. Now, if I can just figure out how to do that!
Oh Maria! I felt like I was reading pages out of my own journal when I read your post today.
I hesitate to take up valuable comment space with what promises to be a long comment and a little personal, but I feel like I should, so I hope you don’t mind too much.
Let me start a while back. Bryan graduated from the U with a Bachelors when Zerin was still a baby. He went back to Weber to get a masters and graduated just before Aeden was born. Then, he went back to the U to get his administrative masters to be a principal and graduated this past May. Anyone who has every worked with him will tell you he is extremely gifted with working not only with children, but also parents, teachers, other administrators etc. Because of all the schooling, me staying home with the kids, and a lot of other things I won’t bore you with, we have struggled financially since we’ve been married. Education is one of the only career paths, where 3 degrees really doesn’t do much to change your income. I kind of was holding out for him finishing school with this last degree, because I KNEW there was no way on this green earth he wouldn’t get hired as a principal…even if there was only one opening. We had paid our dues, and by dang, we deserved a little comfort or so I thought. I had never even imagined a scenario where he would not be working as a principal this year.
Okay, now backing up a little further, just before we moved from Layton, we were starting to feel stagnant in our lives…like something was missing. So we began to pray that we could establish a house of order. That we could be in a position to help people, and that we would be able to get our kids established in a place/area where they would make friends that would help them to be strong in the gospel. That prayer and the many that followed were the beginning of the end of life as we knew it J To name just a few of the things that happened from that moment on: miscarriage, moving, getting sued…and losing, my brother and sister in law going to jail, my nephew nearly dying, new baby, financial difficulties, moving again, moving back, having 2 sales on our home fall through, Bryan’s dad’s health deteriorating (he’ll probably pass away by the end of the year unless something crazy happens), Bryan’s health problems, and on and on and on.
So, anyways, this last winter, Bryan took the school district’s Perceiver test (a test they give all prospective principals as the initial weeding process). It is more of a personality test. Long story short, Bryan didn’t pass. I was completely blown away…how could he not pass??? He has a great personality J It made absolutely no sense, and I was angry. I had talked myself through years of school and struggle only to have the carpet of security yanked out from under me, and it was a tough pill to swallow. Right after that was when we had to go to court with the buyers of our old house, and we ended up settling with them in order to get rid of all the anxiety and stress it was placing on our family. You can only imagine how devastated Bryan was. His confidence was gone, and the unwaivering certainty that he always had was gone…
Through a long series of interesting events, we started making a bunch of decisions that ultimately led to us buying the house we are now working on.
Fast forward to now. To my surprise, we continue to squeak by. I don’t know how…I certainly can’t prove it on paper…but our power is still on, and our kids still think they are eating pretty good J I don’t have answers as to why all these trials have happened to us or to you, but I have an unwaivering knowledge that these things are happening for a bigger reason, and that the good life we were planning for ourselves will pale in comparison to the one I feel God is helping create for us. It is painful, it is frightening, but I know it will be worth it.
This is just a really long way of saying, I’ve been there, I am there, and I really do know what you’re going through to a point. I also know that when you are trying to do the right thing, sometimes Heavenly Father pulls an Abraham-Isaac, and asks “do you mean it?” He then takes you to the very edge of what you can handle so you can prove to yourself that you really do want to do what he wants you to do…and then He blesses you more than you can ever imagine. I have no doubt that things will not go on like this forever for you and your sweet family. Hang in there. You are stronger than you know. You are in my prayers, and I’ll be putting your names in the temple. Love you. Tiff
P.S. those J's in there were supposed to be smiley faces
I think that after your horrible day yesterday, it's so amazing that you can do a post titled "My Heart is Full." It's such a neat feeling to know that the speakers are speaking directly to you, even if they don't know that! It's just one of those tender mercies that let's us know the Lord cares about us as individuals. One of my favorite scriptures about that is in 3 Ne. Ch. 13:
25 And now it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words he looked upon the twelve whom he had chosen, and said unto them: Remember the words which I have spoken. For behold, ye are they whom I have chosen to minister unto this people. Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
26 Behold the fowls of the air, for they sow not, neither do they reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin;
29 And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these.
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith.
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof.
Tiffany's comments were right on: sometimes we don't know why we have to endure the trials that we have to endure, but we definitely learn from them. It's sometimes weird to think that that's why we chose to come to earth. Why would we want to come here and suffer all of this? Well, I'm thinking that we just have a greater reward than we know in heaven: being with Heavenly Father and Jesus again. When we were in their presence and made that choice, we must have known that we would endure whatever suffering on earth in order to make it back to them (with the Savior's atonement of course.) I also think that there really is a lot of happiness in life despite our trials. The trick, at least for me, is to really look for it and be grateful for every day and not wish that I could change things. That is hard for me to do!
Anyway...I really feel for you guys right now because I know how much that test meant to you. It really is CRAP because Marcos is so great at his job. I'm sending you my friendship, love, and support through the atmosphere right to your heart!
Maria, I'm so sorry that you've been having a hard time lately. I don't have much to add after those fabulous other comments, but I agree with what they said. You are strong and wonderful and I'm glad you are my friend. I hope things start looking up for you soon.
-Laura
P.S. Thanks for stopping by the other day with the pampered chef book. It was good to see you!
Tiffany-it's amazing how well you can relate. Some of these jobs that our husbands happen to be well suited for are just not well compensated. Dang the luck! Oh well, we'll get through it and so will you. Thanks for sharing your amazing journey. You're a rock!
Lis-thanks for your always present love and support. You're the best! And for the scripture. I worry too much about supporting myself and being prepared and all the things we are taught, but sometimes it's just not possible to have a year's supply of everything for your family. Sometimes you're living on that supply. I have to remember that if we've done our part, we'll be okay.
And Laura- it was good to see you too. Maybe we can get the kids together to play one of these days. I've been trying to do that more often.
Post a Comment